I'm Not Like Them (A Nirvana Fan Fic - Kurt Cobain! X OFC)

Light My Candles

1 Year on

A lot has changed since last year and in some ways for the better and others for the worst.

It took me months to really get used to the fact that I ended things with Kurt. There were times I just wanted to call him up and brush everything under the rug so we could see each other again, but I stood by what I said and resisted. He sent a dozen roses to me, he sent love letters (what you don't know about Kurt is that he was a romantic guy, though you'd never think it.), he called but usually Sally or Jeff would pick up the phone and tell him I wasn't in.

Their second studio album 'Nevermind' was released but now with a new drummer on the kit. Dave Grohl. 

The song that I wrote the bass line for that I told Kurt to use...he did and hearing Krist's take on it was actually refreshing. I was happy he used my song, and it shows that Kurt still held a candle for me. The song? Come As You Are.

The release of the single 'Smells like teen spirit' Launched them into super stardome.

I saw that him and Courtney had actually started to date, by watching the infamous live performance on TV where he called her 'The best Fuck in the World'. I'm not sure if he meant that, seeing as last time we were together he told me differently, but hey I needed to let it go.

The magazine stalls I would walk past every day to get to the coffee shop (yes I got my old job back), would have sensationalised front pages with Kurt and Courtney on the covers. The Kurt I was with would have hated the professional photo shoots and being in the public eye for all to see, he would have called it 'selling out'. I can't deny his confidence has blossomed since he's been with her, and I can only help but think that's a good thing.

They got married that same year and only a few months back, Courtney announced she was pregnant. I'm not gonna lie when I say that hearing the news hurt. It really fucking did and because I saw myself in the situation they had together...minus the now well known heroin addiction they both developed.

I had a moment where I felt like going back and staying in England would be best. Being around family when I was hurting probably would have been ideal, however I decided to stick it out and stay in Seattle.

I stayed with Sally and Jeff a little longer, and then after a month of getting back into my photography classes and work, I decided to find my own place again.

Jeff asked Sally to marry him on stage at the Paramount, as planned and she said yes amongst floods of tears. It was beautiful and I am so happy they have their perfect life together. They are getting married in the summer and I'm the maid of honour, which I....well...I'm honoured to accept.

Iommi is growing up so quickly, I don't know where the time went honestly! He's almost walking now, he can manage a few steps and then he falls over, but keeps trying. He definitely wants to walk and is determined to do so! I babysit for Sally and Jeff when they go out which is great and I find it utterly hilarious when I give him food and he throws it on the floor, despite the fact I have to clean it up, when I start laughing he laughs too which more than makes up for his mischief.

My new place is pretty rad. It's a loft in the center of the town and is almost as quirky as Jeff's hats...actually nothing is as quirky as those. I love it here. The walls are quite sound proof so practicing my electric bass is amazing in there and the acoustics really help.

It's a bigger area than my last apartment I lived in by myself, but I enjoy it more.

Regis Matters reunited after a year and now we are playing larger venues and getting our music heard. The local radio stations are more than happy to play our records and we got signed to Sub Pop just a few weeks ago.

That's when I met this guy who would be my future husband.

He was wandering around the offices at Sub Pop, his band had recently brought out an album on a different label after being with Sub Pop for a number of years. They had to finalise the decision to leave the label so all four members and management had to sign an agreement that their music on the label could be used in advertisement for their brand, which they accepted. Going forward however, all their music would be on A&M.

Despite being a drummer for one of the top bands around, he was kinda quiet but really sweet. We shared a few glances and a few smiles, when his lead singer decided to hook us up. I gave him my name but unfortunately, before he could tell me his, the singer dragged him off to a local bar with the rest of the band. The only thing he was able to say was "I'll see you around" before jotting his number down on the top of the paper he had in his hand, and tearing it off to give to me.

We had our first date at Alki beach. We sat on the sand and shared a bottle of wine and talked for hours about mutual interests and our love for music. We both discovered that we are both huge fans of The Who and enjoyed the works of Kafka.

We sat together and watched the sunset over the sea at the Beach. Yes it was only our first date, but we had so much chemistry together that we kinda knew we'd both be in the long haul. We also enjoyed a kiss, and damn he is a great kisser.

By the end of the night he walked me back to my apartment, hand in hand.

That's when he finally gave me his name.

Matt Cameron.