I'm Not Like Them (A Nirvana Fan Fic - Kurt Cobain! X OFC)

Something In The Way

WARNING 18+ READER ONLY - Smut Warning

I arrive at the house that me and Kurt shared and let myself in, noticing this time no one was home. I'm not surprised, I'm guessing he's either with the band doing something regarding the new album or shacked up with Ms Love. I wander over to the record collection of ours and sit next to the cabinet where they are kept and go through them, picking out mine. I smile at some of the albums, recounting good memories that me and Kurt shared along to these songs that we both hold so dear. Unfortunately the memories of what we had sends me into tears once more.

I gradually empty my clothing from the wardrobe and dresser in the bedroom, placing them into a few travel bags, along with my jewellery and shoes.

This feels final and I fucking hate it.

Soon I hear the door open and half expect Kurt to arrive with Courtney. I continue to pack up my things and I hear footsteps enter the room.

"Alana?" 

I turn around to see Kurt.

"I won't get in your way, just packing a few things and then I'll be gone." I reply.

He sits down next to me on the floor and takes the jewellery box I have in my hand and places it back where it was, in the bottom of the wardrobe.

"Stay." 

"Don't make this more difficult than it is." I say, feeling my emotions building.

"I don't want you to go. What you saw yesterday...was a complete mistake." he says, taking my hands into his.

I don't pull back, I want to feel his touch for the last time at least.

"So you fell on top of Courtney and accidentally stuck yourself with a syringe?" I say with passive aggression.

"I mean, I met her at a show and we got talking, got stupid drunk and she said she had some gear....It sounded great and I was missing you bad. I didn't know when you'd get back and I kinda thought I wouldn't see you again. I wanted some intimacy, but I was wrecked and high...I wasn't in my right mind." Kurt explains as those fucking tears of mine threaten to fall again.

"So that's okay? You want me to forgive you because you fucked up? I was calling you every night. You didn't pick up after a month or so and I was worried. My mother died Kurt, that was already too much to handle and then I walk in and see you and her....I couldn't believe you'd do that to me." I respond.

"I don't expect forgiveness, but I want to make this work and I know it fucking can. It was perfect before you left and I know we can get that back....I want you Alana, no one else." he says with those blue eyes, big and sad, making me melt into his arms.

We embrace, my eyes closed as I seek comfort in this moment. Why did he have to make things so fucking complicated now?

We free ourselves from the embrace and Kurt wipes the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs and I look down, not fully wanting to commit to looking at him.

"I love you Alana. I fucking mean it. I meant what I asked you yesterday too." he states.

I shake my head.

"You only said that to get me back, you didn't mean it and I'm not saying yes." I counteract his comment. "Is she in the lounge?"

Kurt looks at me confused. "Huh?"

"Courtney. Is she waiting for you in another room or outside?" I ask.

Kurt shakes his head. "No. It's just me. Me and her aren't a thing...it was one night. I fucking meant every word...Will you marry me?"