Something New.

Chapter 12: I did it.

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I can't sleep.

I get off of the ground and think about everything that has happened. I can't wait to try and find the player that suposedly verified me, hopefully they will have something about me. I realize that I haven't eaten in 2 days, I just haven't had that much of an appetite with everything. I get up, coming to the conclusion that I should probably eat something if this body is anything like mine. I stand up and make my way to the city. I have already been there before, so it will be easier..

As I walk towards the city, I hope those weird urges I kept feeling go away, or atleast I don't act on them. I don't even want to think about what I could do if I ended up following through with the morbid actions I have been thinking of. Maybe, they'll somehow go away, hopefully they will. I look at myself in the reflection again, I hope that somehow, me finding my verifier will fix all of this. This is because all of this is broken, this isn't me. I don't want to accept this fate. I hope that someway, in all of these people here, I will find my verifier. 

I look away from the reflection, hoping that this will only be temporary. For Now, all I can do is deal with this and hope that there is a way out. I look towards the road, where all of the stores are. Hopefully, I understood what Nine Circles meant by to not go out into plain sight. I try to keep myself hidden, hoping that not that many players notice me. What will they do to me if they do? I don't know what time it is, so I'm not sure if this is during the time Nine Circles killed a bunch of players at a talent show.

As I'm walking to the store, I tune out all of the urges I have. I think about attacking everyone, maybe even going on a killing spree. I know that isn't me either, I don't want to hurt anybody. I don't think I could hurt anybody. I walk into the same store as yesterday, and I see a stand, with a player behind it. I turn to the mini fridge with the beverages. I take out a water, it's pretty much ice. It's hard, maybe I could throw this one? No, it's happening again. I don't know why this is happening, or why this won't go away. I would never do any of this, or even see myself doing this. Yet, some part of me wants to find enjoyment in harming players. 

I don't know what to do, I feel so lost and confused with this. Why did this even happened to me, who even made this happen to me? Then, I instinctively throw the bottle, directly at the player who's at the stand.

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What have I done..?

I slowly approach the person, scared. I've never done anything like that, so why did I now? Why did I do that out of instinct...? I know this is wrong, but some part of me liked it, and wants to do it again. I'm horrified, as I look down at the body and notice that the player is unconscious. Did..I kill somebody? Should I even pick up the ice bottle..? What is everybody going to do when they find out about this? I try to calm down by taking deep breaths, but I don't know if I can. I get up and decide to leave, more scared than ever.

They're all going to know about what I did, I was the only person in there. As I keep walking, I get the urge to do it again. I'm just alone, and afraid. I can't tell anybody about this because I don't think the players like demons, and the demons won't understand. I try my best to not look suspicious, but I still fail at doing so. They probably all know that something happened. 

I immediately run back into the empty black and yellow space again. I hyperventilate, I don't know what to do. I killed somebody. I killed somebody and some MESSED UP PART OF ME LIKES IT. I don't know what I'm going to do, or how I'm going to go back there after I did something as horrible as that. They're going to recognize who did it, they're going to know it was me who killed somebody. I don't want to sleep. I don't want the morning to come because I'll have to find some sort of way to deal with this.

I keep thinking about what could happen if I go outside ever again, the simplest thing, isolation, isn't an option. Just when I thought things were getting better, this had to happen. Eventually, my awakeness trails away.

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(YES THERES CHAPTER 12 LETS GO, THIS ONES AN ABSOLUTE DOOZY. Anyways credits to @LoafeeBuns on twitter because theyre epic and swag and they made this entire au so go over there and tell them that you love their art because you have to bc their art is so goood and stuff very cool anyways lets goooooo)