loving someone / matty healy

be my mistake

Lord only knows who's idea it was for the seven of us to play spin the bottle as we sat high on the floor of George's garage - myself, Matt, Zahra, Ross, Adam, George, and Heidi. I had come to the conclusion after sitting with her in English at the end of the day that she wasn't bad at all, and seemed genuinely nice. She didn't appear to look in Matty's direction even once throughout the whole lesson, and I decidedly felt less uneasy. She had arrived by herself, despite Zahra and I offering for her to get ready with us. I didn't blame her, it was fair enough if it felt like too much too soon. Besides, she happened to only live around the corner from George anyway.

I still hadn't spoken to Matty yet, I didn't feel like he was purposely avoiding me, but it wasn't like him to not use every opportunity to talk to me. I'd gotten ready for the night at Zahra's and didn't see him until he was giving me a hug at George's door, ushering us in. My whole body wished it had been a kiss I was greeted with. Although, he was already verging on drunk when I arrived, and I couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed.

He pulled me into the kitchen before I could greet anybody else, and I panicked for a moment wondering what they would think. But, my worries faded away blissfully as soon as his lips were on mine. His hands were on my cheeks, guiding me closer, I let my own run through his hair.
"I've missed you." His eyes were half closed as he broke away, leaning in again to place soft kisses across my face.
"I've missed you, too," I put my arms around him, hugging my head into his warm neck, allowing my lips to leave him a few affectionate kisses. "But you reek of vodka."
I pushed him away, to which he whined like a child. It took all of my willpower not to let him kiss me again, and bring him back into the garage. At least he can walk straight. For now.
"And, I have something to tell you," He pouted at my words. "I may have told Zahra about us, I hope that's okay?"
I found myself slightly surprised when a smile spread across his face, an irresistible, but albeit tipsy, smile.
"Well, I may have told George."
I could only laugh, we were just as bad as each other.

"He promised not to say anything-" He began at the same time as I said "She promised not to say anything." I could only roll my eyes at how in sync we were. He pulled me into his arms and I didn't hesitate to let him embrace me once more.
Breathing into the soft skin of my neck, I shivered at the feeling of having him so close to me again.
"I like us being a secret. Feels like I get you all to myself," Smiling at his words, I agreed.
"I don't want you to be a secret for long though. I want everyone to know I have you all to myself."

It was sometimes hard to believe that the boy I learned the alphabet with was now using those letters to speak to me like this, to effortlessly make me feel so special and desired.
"I have no objections." I spoke into his ear, a low sound. He groaned.

A noise at the door behind us caused us to jump slightly, and I couldn't decide whether I was relieved or panicked to turn around and find Heidi standing there. Her eyes slightly wide, she was trying her best to look away. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here, I'll leave." I felt bad at how embarrassed she looked.

"No, no. Don't be silly, we're just coming to join you all, anyway. Come on." As she turned around to make her way back into the garage, Matty and I shared a weary look. It wasn't a big deal if anyone else knew, especially our best friends, but despite how it would be nothing new to anyone else, it was brand new to us. It was ours, and I didn't want to share it just yet.

George ushered me over to his side when we came through the door, a drink for me already in his hand. I spoke to Heidi as I sat down next to her. Matty had hastily put himself in charge of the music, and everyone groaned when teenage dream by Katy Perry played for the fifth time. Adam soon took control of the speaker, and I couldn't have been more grateful.