Lost And Found

Chapter Two

Everyone was looking at him. No one knew what to say as they convened in the map room with panicked faces. The bond strumming through them - though faint on Hoseok's end because of the incomplete mating - was wild and frantic. Fear being the most prevalent feeling of them all. Keeping his eyes on the map-strewn table, he bit his lip and tried to keep himself calm enough to block out his own feelings so that the others wouldn't notice. While he didn't like to do this often, it was something that he could do because of the weak bond between him and the others. He normally hated it. Always feeling insecure because of the stupidity that he had had as a young guppy, in giving his heart away as easily as he had. But right now, he was happy that he had. It meant that they couldn't feel the turmoil bubbling inside of his chest.

When Jimin had left, promising to return, Hoseok had believed him. Even when a year passed and he still hadn't come back, he continued to hold onto hope. But as time wore on, that hope disappeared in order to make way for a turbulent storm of emotions, that raged within his heart and mind to this day. On one hand, he was insecure about Jimin being a human and simply chose to forget about him. It's why his kind was told not to give their hearts to humans, and for a while, he felt like a fool. Then there was the fear that Jimin had died. His ship and his father's crew had not been heard from in years, and the longer he waited, the more likely it became that he was dead. And by the time five years had passed, the news of the 'Promise' crew's demise in the west, had filtered into Jeju. Hoseok had completely broken then. For his kind, it meant that he was now a widow, and while his soul felt that Jimin was still alive somehow, he knew that he was dead. Because there had been no survivors. They had even found Jimin's father's grave. It was dug shallowly into the sand and had a tree for a tombstone. All hope had been destroyed.

With his brokenness, he had reached out to his father, and after a year and a half, had managed to not only contact him but get him to come back to Jeju in order to bring him with him. Hoseok needed to see for himself what had happened to his mate shortly after they had parted. He needed to see where Jimin had spent his last hours. It had been... traumatic.

Once they had arrived, the final pieces of himself had completely shattered. There was nothing left of him. It was at that moment that his father, for the first time in his life, had held him. Because there in the sand, he had been unable to move. All he could do was picture how Jimin must have died. Scared... alone... unable to say goodbye to him...

Grief had taken over his life then.

Nothing had been the same.

Hoseok didn't know what to do or what he could do. His kind rarely survived their mate's passing, and rarely moved on if they somehow did get past the mourning. At that time, all he knew was that he was never going to be able to return home. Not when Jimin's presence was still there. He could see him in everything that he touched. In every place that they had gone to during the time that he had been with him. There was no way that he could return.

So with a heavy heart, he sent a letter to his mother about his decision. She had understood, knowing that this may happen. It was why she had given him the goodbye that she had before he had taken off with his father for that mission. Grateful, Hoseok had then joined his father's crew, and with time had met each of his 'mates'. It would never be a complete mating between him and the others, not with Jimin dead, because in order for it to be complete, the two of them would have had to agree to be with them together. As it was though, Hoseok had believed that Jimin had died. There had been no hope that he was still alive after finding out what had happened.

Now though....

"Hoba?" Seokjin called for him and Hoseok startled. He had become lost in thought. His mind had wandered to the past as well as Jimin's tale. He knew it was him as soon as he started talking. As soon as he had mentioned his name and asked for them to give his amulet back to him. It had taken everything in his power not to run to the other, his instincts had gone haywire at that moment because until then, he hadn't recognized him. His old lover had changed. The chubby-faced teen with smiling eyes and more muscles than brain was no longer there. Instead, there had been a lean sharp-edged man who was resigned to his fate. He had been so battered and bruised... "Hoba, are you listening?"

He hadn't been. "I'm sorry."

Namjoon placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, the larger Mere squeezing it slightly in order to comfort him, as one of his long green tentacles wrapped around his waist. Normally, that would make him feel better. But right now... he just wanted to talk with Jimin.

"I know that this is hard, but we really need to talk about this and we need to talk about this now." Seokjin's voice was understanding, but also stern. The oldest Mere sighed as he placed both hands on the large oak table and hung his head. "Based on what you have told us in the past, this is your...." He struggled to say the word, swallowing before he forced it out of his mouth. "Mate... from before us. You had told us that he was dead though?" His eyes met his and Hoseok gulped. And when he looked at the others in the room they had the same expression in their eyes as Seokjin's.

They were all curious and hurt.

Feeling like he was on the spot, Hoseok squirmed. "I thought that he was. When word came back to my island, we had all been told that the ship had sunk. That there weren't any survivors. And while I still felt our bond, the doctors on my father's ship had told me that that could happen sometimes. Especially if the person had been my soul mate." He said that last part softly as he avoided their eyes. This was a part he hadn't told them because he never wanted them to question how much he cared, but no matter what there would always be a Jimin-sized hole in his heart and soul. It would simply never change. And they knew starting this with him and choosing him to join their fleet in marriage, that he was a widower. That he would never be able to fully give himself to them. Still... he didn't want to hurt them. "Jimin had been like that. When I found out his ship was destroyed and there were no survivors I-" A hiccuping sob escaped him, and a set of orange tentacles belonging to Taehyung hugged him tightly beside Namjoon's. "I almost didn't make it."

"Not many do." It was Yoongi who spoke now, his voice soft and comforting as his eyes misted. "It was a miracle that you didn't succumb to the mourning."

Jungkook, who had been unnaturally quiet finally spoke, his void devoid of emotion. "Because he has been alive all this time."

Stiffening, the implication of the younger Mere's words fully sunk in. Jimin was alive. From what he had said during the moment that he thought he was going to die, he had been trying to get back to him but couldn't. He was alive... he hadn't died... he had survived... and had never once been unfaithful to him...

Pain and fear the likes of which Hoseok hadn't felt in years crashed into him, and before he could collapse to his knees, Namjoon and Taehyung caught him.

Jimin had honored the bond...

But he hadn't...

Fingers digging into his hair, Hoseok started to let out a series of distressed chirps and clips, despite how the others tried to comfort him. It was rare for him to talk in his native tongue - having grown up mostly around humans - but when he was in a state of pure primal instinct it would come out without warning, and that's where he was now.

He had damaged the bond.

Jimin probably looked as sick as he was because of him. He wouldn't even realize what was happening because humans didn't have the same knowledge of the mating bond that the Mere had. Hoseok had also never thought that he would move on either. But Jimin had been dead! He wasn't supposed to be alive... Every time he fooled around with one of his current mates, it would have given him pain in his heart. Making it feel like he was having a heart attack. There had been cases of this even killing soulmates. And he....

This explained so much...

Why Hoseok had lost almost all of his sex drive...

Why he was rarely in the mood or joined the others in their activities...

Why every time he would feel like shit afterward, even if he had enjoyed it. Hell, this happened even when he had been the one to initiate things. At this point, everyone assumed that because he had lost his mate early on, it had affected his libido. It wasn't a stretch to believe that either because one normally never survived their mate's passing, let alone a soulmate. Hoseok had just gotten lucky.

Or so he thought...

But Jimin was alive...

"You couldn't have known. Hoseok, you couldn't have known." He wasn't even sure who was speaking to him at this point, all he knew was that he was breaking. All of them knew what this meant. They were all Mere. It wasn't a secret to their kind. So they knew. "It's not your fault."

All he could do though was chirp in distress.