Cold Fame || ENHA

34. Always

February 28th, 2021

Heeseung has been so adamant about making it up to me. He keeps buying my favorite snacks, buying me flowers and even bought me a new stuffed animal. It's another cat one but it's ginger so I named it Nogseun. Aka Rusty.

Ori, Eun, Soha, Goun and now Nogseun. Heeseung has been trying hard and now I feel really bad for what I said when I was drunk that one day.

Nobody deserves to suffer the way I do (except my parents). The more I think about it the more I feel bad and funny enough today was his day in my dorm. He's sitting on the couch while I lay in my bed.

I decided to climb down and sit next to him. He seemed surprised, almost confused. I frowned and hugged him. He slowly hugged me back as again, he was confused.

"Is something wrong Jeongmi?" He asked. I felt disappointed. He's stopped calling me love and I wish he would. Though I shook my head, he could tell it was a lie.

"Are you thinking bad things perhaps? Craving alcohol?" He continued to question. I shook my head once more. I took my phone out my pocket and quickly typed. "I'm really sorry Heeseung." Then I let him see.

A small frown took it's spot on his face. His arms tightened around my waist. "Don't worry about it ok?" He spoke rather quietly, our faces closer.

I felt my lip quiver so I looked down, not wanting him to see me cry again. "Don't be ashamed of crying Jeongmi. It's normal ok?" Heeseung tried his best to comfort me.

I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, laying a soft kiss on his nape. Heeseung seemed even more shocked by this and gasped. His arms slowly wrapped around me, rubbing my back.

"Are you sure you're alright? You don't normally do this." Heeseung teased, trying to get me to laugh. It worked and I let out a small giggle, backing off of him yet I still held onto the sleeve of his shirt.

"Like I said Jeongmi, it's fine. I couldn't possibly ever hate you." Heeseung comforted, rubbing my arm. I grabbed out my phone. I hesitated on typing what I wished to but I ended up going through with it.

"Do you love me?" I typed and then turned it to Heeseung. A bright toothless smile grew on his face as his eyes shined. He looked back at me with warm eyes.

"Always."

March 4th, 2021

Always it was. Me and Heeseung have gotten closer since then. It obviously hasn't been long but it's like we've known eachother forever. I've slowly began to talk more and have got more comfortable with it.

It feels so liberating to talk now. I think Little Jeongmi is healing. Heeseung is making me feel alive. I don't need alchohol or to hurt myself. I have Heeseung, Jay, and Sunoo by my side.

Even with the group, all of us have started to hang out with eachother more. I'm actually really starting to enjoy life. I won't have to die without love.

Oh and I haven't really asked him, but I think me and Heeseung should just become official. Not publicly of course but I'm scared of asking him if he wants to make the two of us official.

I mean we are back to loving all over each other and all that but I'm just nervous I guess. I decided to make a plan to ask him. Tomorrow, when he's at the studio, I'll dress up real nice and make him a nice dinner and then ask.

I'm sure he'd say yes but again, I can't be a 100% sure. I'll get him flowers and his favorite sweets. I really hope he'll like it. He's the type to do things for you and not expect anything back.