Do Not Want (Ariana/You)

Let It Go - (Y/N POV)

A/N: Update is finally here. I'm really sorry to have kept everyone waiting forever with this. I am trying to get back into updating this fanfic and Meridian as well but it will be a slow progress. I hope you enjoy the chapter, and thank you to everyone for the support and still reading this story two years later<3

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" 'Let It Go' is a little bit of a change of pace from the music that we have heard so far on the album, is there a reason for that?" Zac asked me as he was still looking at his notes.

"I mean the song is still sad in its own way, but we wanted to experiment with the sounds a little bit. Lynn thought it would be fun to make it sound a little upbeat for a sad song." I answered amused at how Lynn was overexcited about this particular song, another one of her drunken ideas that night they had been drinking and came up with this album's concept.

"Oh yeah, she's the master of that technique, have you listened to PVRIS's albums in general?" Lauren said amused.

"Absolutely, but I see it. I definitely see the hints of Lynn in there." Zac said, nodding his head in approval.

I looked over at Lauren and she was smiling wide. She was really proud of this album, proud of this album as it had been my way to cope with losing Ariana. We had spent a lot of time on this album. Lots of nights spent in the backyard sipping on wine or beers talking about feelings, memories, fears, and the state of the world. It was refreshing to have these kinds of conversations again as the last time I had them was with Ariana.

I guess Lauren must have felt the gaze as she turned her attention to me while Zac continued talking and introducing the track to his audience. She faintly smiled at me. That little smile that caught me so off guard a few months ago.

Flashback – A little over a year ago – Y/N's home

Lynn and Lauren had pretty much moved in with me at this point. We had already spent two months writing this album altogether and came up with a few good songs. A mix of sadness, anger, love, and regret. Everything was in there and we just needed the final touches on the album before we could get it out.

"I think we're almost done guys. We're already at 15 songs." Lynn said as she was trying to find some tunes on her guitar that would fit with what I had just finished writing.

At this point, crumpled pieces of paper were all over the floor. I had so much writing material in me that I just couldn't stop writing. But nothing ever felt perfect enough to make it on the album.

"Put down your pen and paper, Hemmingway. It's time to call it a day maybe?" Lauren said as she got up from the couch she had been sitting on for most of the evening. She then stretched a bit, trying to wake herself up. "How about we go out? It might do us some good to actually socialize with other people."

Lynn bolted up from her seat in excitement.

"That is an amazing idea Lauren!" Lynn nearly shouted in excitement.

I, on the other hand, wasn't so keen on going out and having to deal with the outside world quite yet.

As if Lauren could read my mind, she made her way to where I was sitting and she took my hand to lift me off my seat.

"Trust me, it will do you some good. I know you don't want to, but you can't hide in here forever." Lauren said, with a mix of worry and matter-of-fact tone.

"I sure the hell can." I told her, in a nearly childish way.

"Okay then." Lauren said, turning away.