Amnesiac

CHAPTER 11

"If she doesn't wake up in the next hour, we're taking her to the hospital."

Those were the first words you heard upon shifting back to consciousness, the fingers on your forehead keeping your heartrate calm. You felt so hot in John B.'s house, your chiffon dress sticking to your legs. You shifted, and the hand on your forehead drifted to the back of your neck.

"Y/N?"

You reached up, touching the familiar hand. Your heart was starting to beat faster, and you fought to calm yourself, to keep your breathing even. Your lashes fluttered a few times, and you swallowed, keeping them open. It took a moment for your vision to clear, sleep still in your eyes, but when it did, JJ was the first thing you saw.

He looked so relieved, a smile dancing on his pink lips. He leaned in, opening his mouth to say something when he paused, frowning at you. You didn't realize why until you noticed he was getting blurrier, tears kissing your eyes.

"What's wrong? Is it your head?"

You noticed that Kie worriedly stood over his shoulder. Your throat felt so tight, and you desperately wanted to say something, but you didn't even know where to start. You could see that the longer you remained silent, the more worried JJ became, and he glanced at Kie in question.

"You fainted," she softly told you. "Do you remember that?"

You remembered everything.

It was amazing how one little head injury could make you forget so much, and how something as simple as a kiss could make you remember it all. You struggled to sit up, shaking, and JJ was quick to help you. Your tears finally spilled over, skipping down your cheeks, and JJ wiped them away.

"I'm gonna go get Sarah," Kie said.

You squeezed your eyes shut as she left, and JJ took your face into his hands. More tears fell, and JJ tried to get you to look at him, softly calling your name. Your chest was tight, and your entire body felt like it was weighed down. Weighed down with guilt and regret.

"I'm sorry," you finally murmured.

When you peeled your eyes open, JJ looked confused.

"I'm sorry," you repeated. "I'm so sorry."

"For...for what?" he wondered, moving closer.

"It's all my fault," you weakly choked out just as Kie came back with Sarah.

John B. and Pope stood in the doorway, worriedly looking in. JJ's face fell as the realization hit, and he tried to pull you into a hug, but you pushed at his chest. Your breathing was short, and you couldn't stop crying.

"It's my fault."

"It's not-."

"What is she talking about? Y/N, what are you talking about?" Sarah asked, kneeling beside you.

You couldn't cry and talk and try to breathe all at the same time. Your head fell against JJ's chest, and you felt like you were going to pass out under the crushing weight of your recovered memories. Your last memory before you woke up in that hospital was of you in that water, genuinely believing that the last time you'd ever see JJ was when he'd been rightfully mad at you over something you didn't have the guts to do.

You could hear them talking around you, and you didn't know what about until you felt a glass of water in your hand. JJ tilted your head back, helping you drink it, and it forced you to start breathing slower. The contrast in your memories from before your accident and the ones after made your head spin.

"None of this would've happened," you whispered, stumbling to your feet. "If I had just...at least let you tell our friends about us, then none of this would've happened."