IMPOSSIBLE

19 - What Are We?

Jennifer's POV

I wasn't sure what exactly to tell her. I could tell her that I've never even thought of liking women, but that she draws me in like a flame does a moth, that I love to be around her and that I had no idea what's going on. Instead I just said „No."

„Hm."

„I'm leaving tomorrow. Back to LA."
„Oh.. do you.. do you want to stay tonight? I mean I don't know if that's possible because of your kids and I don't know when you're leaving and..." She kept talking and talking.
I interrupted her. „The kids are with my mom for tonight. I'd love to stay."

„Do you know when you're coming back?", Leah asked.
„No."

Then there was silence again. Leah brushed her fingers softly over my naked shoulder.

„You can visit, if you want to.", I suggested.
„Can I?"
„Anytime." I meant it.
„Okay. I will."

Leah's POV

I'm really gonna miss her. My heart was beating fast, because I knew I had to ask her something before she was leaving. It could end what we have, it could even end our friendship, but I had to know before I'd get deeply hurt. My feelings for her were strong and it scared me.

„Jennifer?"
„Mh?"
„What am I to you?"

She lifted her head and I probably caught her off guard.

„You're my friend, baby.", she answered and smiled at me.

I smiled back, but that's not exactly what I wanted to hear.

„That's not what you wanted to know, huh?", she asked as if she could read me.
„Right.", I replied.

She inhaled deeply.
„Honestly? I don't know, Leah. I love spending time with you. You make me feel.. different. I like that. I love to be around you."

That was an answer I could live with.

„What about you?", Jennifer asked me.

I put my palm on her head and pushed it gently down on my chest again.

„I like being with you, Jennifer. You bring something out in me..."

Jennifer chuckled. „Ah, I see."

„Shut up.", I ruffled her hair, earning an indignant „Ey!" from her.

„Will you let me continue?"
She nodded in response.

„Okay so.. I like you. I really do and that.. scares me."

„Why is that?"

„Because I don't know how you feel about it. You're straight.. or.. at least I thought you are and... okay, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm scared of being hurt. I've been hurt so many times.."

„I see. Me too. Leah I... I wasn't completely honest before. I think I like you more than.. my other girlfriends.. you know?"

My heart started racing. Is she confessing she's in love with me?

„But it's... also confusing. Do you get that?", she continued.

„I do. Since you're honest I guess I... I think I've fallen for you, Jennifer."
I took a deep and shaky breath.

„You are?", she asked and lifted her head.
I looked at her and nodded.
She pressed her lips against mine and if I let myself, I could cry right now. But I kept it together.

„Can we see where it takes us? This is.. new.", she said softly.
„Yeah."
„Are you okay with that?"
„I am." She had no idea how happy she just made me. I pulled her on top of me and squeezed her hard, making her laugh her cute laugh. This woman.

I borrowed her a big shirt from me, because she needed to go to the bathroom.
„Can you trust Lucas?", she asked me. „I don't wanna read any headlines of my nightly whereabouts." She clenched her teeth and made a face.

„I trust him.. but maybe it will cost you a selfie or something.", I laughed.
She laughed as well. „I can live with that."
„Come on, I'll walk out with you and grab us some water."

We walked out and Lucas was just coming out of his room, I noticed he had some ramen on our small dining table. His jaw dropped when he saw us in just shirts. I showed Jennifer the bathroom and as she walked, Lucas was standing in his room's doorframe, pointing at me, then at Jennifer, repeatedly mouthing something. He held his pointing and his middle finger around his mouth and made licking movements with his tongue, winking at me. He was ridiculous.
I moved my hands along my throat pretending to slit it and mouthed „shut up".

Jennifer turned around before entering the bathroom, and Lucas and I immediately stopped and smiled at her.

When she shot the door, we both walked to the dining table.
„You dumbass!", I whisper-yelled and smacked his arm.
„Ouch!", he whisper-yelled back.

„Are you fucking serious?", he asked,
still whisper-yelling.
„I am."
„Holy shit!", he exclaimed.
„Shhh! She could hear!", I whisper-yelled again.

„Yeah, the walls are thin.", he smirked at me.
„You heard us?"
„Loud and clear."
„Oh god!"
„Yeah, a little something like that.", he laughed.

„Oh you!", I smacked him again and he laughed.

„Hey, what are you guys talking about?", Jennifer asked, as she came out of the bathroom.

„Nothing.", I quickly said.
„That's not true, Leah honey. We just talked about how awfully thin our walls are.", Lucas said and I punched him even harder.

Jennifer blushed.

„Don't worry. I won't tell.", Lucas said. „I never heard her that loud.", he whispered very audible to her.

„Lucas, enough!", I rebuked him. I didn't want Jennifer to feel uncomfortable. And myself as well.

„Really?", Jennifer asked amused and she totally surprised me with that.

„Mh-hm.", he smiled and winked at her.
„You're awful, Lucas!", I rolled my eyes at him and he just laughed.

„Enjoy your dinner.", I said to Lucas and got up. „And keep your filthy mouth shut. To anyone!"

He made a zipping-movement along his closed mouth.
„Have fuhun!", he trilled.

„I'm sorry.", I apologized to Jennifer as soon as I closed the door behind us. I wrapped my arms around her hips.

„I see why you're friends. He's funny.", she said.
I shrugged my shoulders. „He is sometimes."
„So... never louder, huh?", Jennifer grinned and put her arms around my neck.

„Don't pay too much attention to what he says.", I rolled my eyes.

„I'm good. He never heard you that loud.", she said in an annoyingly teasing sing-sang and tilted her head to the side, biting her lip while smiling.

„Stop it."

„I'm incredibly good.", she kept on going with a sweet laugh.

„You're incredibly annoying.", I mocked her.

„Just admit it.", she said.

I rolled my eyes and laughed.
„Okay. You're incredibly good."

„I am. And you know what else? I like to win."
She spoke in an unbelievably sweet, yet sexy voice, while she walked towards my bed, pulling me with her. I felt incredibly lucky.

She kissed me and then we cuddled up in my bed. I spooned her, my hand rested on her hip and my face was close to her neck.

I brushed her hair to the side to expose her neck and kissed it.
„Mh.", she said softly and pressed herself closer to me.

„I could get used to this.", she muttered in a sleepy tone.

I kissed her again and we fell asleep shortly after.