ENIGMA

Clarification

I fussed with the pillows again as I glance around my stuffy apartment. I sighed out loud, this was as good as it was going to get. The last few weeks have been busy as hell. Two girls quit so my hours at work went up. Which was a huge blessing because it meant I had rent money for the next few months. However, it also cut the amount of time I was spending with my boyfriend.

Brandon never fussed when I was too tired to do more than chat on the phone. He checked in with me to make sure I was remembering to eat and take care of myself. It was all very sweet. The conversation I had with Loretta still stuck out in my mind. Stupidly I didn't listen to her and in my free time dove into the dark world of daddy kink. To say I was on edge about the whole thing was an understatement.

I suppose that's part of my problem too. I haven't had the chance to really talk to him about any of it. How do you bring up a conversation like that with your new boyfriend? It's helped that we've not had time alone together but that changes tonight. It was my first night off in a while and he asked me out to dinner. When he heard the hesitation in my voice, he switched gears. Suggested a veg night at home with pj's and pizza.

I agreed because that did sound relaxing. It was after I hung up, I realized he would be seeing the inside of my apartment for the first time. All of my reservations about everything else went out the door and I started cleaning like crazy. I wasn't a messy person, but Brandon grew up in a sophisticated lifestyle. I'm sure he had maids and butlers and didn't even know what a speck of dust looked like.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. As soon as I opened it, I had to fight myself from checking my chin for drool. Brandon stood in the doorway, pizza in one hand a case of beer in the other. His basketball shorts hung low on his hips and cut out t-shirt showed off almost all of his sides.

"Damn, baby," he said with a smirk. I blushed and looked down at my oversized hoodie that almost covered my cotton shorts and rolled my eyes.

"You said a comfortable night in," I stated as I opened the door the rest of the way to let him in. After flipping the deadbolt lock on the door, I turned to catch him giving me a curious glance as he dropped of the food onto the coffee table. I shrugged my shoulders, "The knob lock stopped working the other day."

His eyes drifted to the door then back to me, worried.

"It's fine," I assured him. "I'll call the super in the morning and hopefully he can get it fixed soon."

He sighed and opened his mouth, but I cut him off, "Where's the rest of your shirt?"

Brandon chuckled then reached out and grabbed me by my hips pulling me close, "These are my gym clothes."

"Um, we agreed on pj's, sir."

His lips crashed into mine before he whispered, "I don't own any pj's," and kissed me again. It took me a second to understand what he meant. A small giggle escaped my lips along with a sigh as I wrapped my arms up and around his neck.

"I missed you," Brandon said against my lips as he pulled away.

"I missed you, too."

"So, what are we watching?" he asked as he pulled me over to the couch.

I picked up the remote and flipped through the DVR, "I've got a few movies saved, some trash reality shows, Cop dram..."

I paused and looked at him when he grabbed my hand. Brandon looked like he was trying not to laugh and asked, "Does that say, '50 Shades of Grey'?"

"That's Loretta's," I lied quickly, feeling my face warm up. No way in hell was I about to admit I had recorded the movie because a website told me it was a good reference film. Even though I'd never gotten the courage to watch it.

He chuckled and shook his head then reached for a beer, "It's a terrible movie."

"You've seen it?" I asked curiously. I had so many questions. Was it a good reference film? how accurate was it? Was what was depicted in the film something he liked?

"Yeah," he answered, "I had an ex who was obsessed with the books. Not my cup of tea to be honest."

Okay now I was really curious! Isn't that what he was into? I've never read the books but some of the girls I was in a home with had snuck our foster moms copy and would gush about Mr. Grey and his red room. I usually tuned them out. Though I probably should have paid more attention back then. Maybe I wouldn't be so flustered about what I'm facing now.

"How about Avengers," he said cutting through my thoughts.

//\\//\\//\\//\\

We were halfway through the movie when I couldn't take it anymore. My mind had been racing and I couldn't concentrate on the screen. Brandon had his arm around my shoulders and had pulled me close to him. His fingers were tracing small circles on my arm, and it was all so... suffocating. I paused the movie and pushed up to my feet to start pacing.

"Babe?" his tone was worried, but I couldn't look at him.

I needed to say my peace if we were going to continue, "I can't do it."

"You're going to need to elaborate because I have no idea what's going on."

Pivoting to face him, I took him in while taking a deep breath. Gone was his relaxed posture, he was leaned forward his elbows resting on his knees. A beer clutched in his hands in front of him with his left eyebrow cocked up in question.

"I can't do the onesies, the binkies, crib shaped cages. I don't want to be whipped or chained to a bed for hours. I won't be controlled and told what to do. How to act, what to wear, who I can't hang around with. I want to be with you. I want to get to know you more, but I just can't be a part of your kinky life."

Brandon sat back against the couch and took a slow sip of his beer before asking, "What are you talking about?"

"Look, I googled it okay," I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "After you called yourself 'daddy' in your office the other night I looked it up. I just can't see myself being a part of that life. I'm sorry."

He nodded his head and drained his beer before putting the empty bottle down on the table.

"I really am sorry, Brandon. I tried being okay with all of it but it's just too weird. I'm no..." I was cut off by his hand reaching out and grasping my wrist pulling me down onto his lap. I felt a sharp sting on my ass making me gasp and his eyebrows raise in question.

"Let's quickly get one thing straight," he said, his voice commanding. "I am not now, nor will I ever be interested in fucking anything that even resembles a child. You either researched the wrong thing or you went down a very sick rabbit hole."

"But you..."

"I'm not done. I don't get off on restraining my partners and causing them pain. Now, that doesn't mean I won't deliver a spanking to that beautiful ass of yours when you act like a brat," his palm kneaded the spot he popped just a minute ago to prove his point. "But I can assure you, you'll enjoy that a hell of a lot more than I will. Any punishment I dole out will be just as equally beneficial to you as it would be to me."

His eyes softened as he leaned in to give me a soft kiss, "I'll never hurt you, baby. My lifestyle. Yes, lifestyle not kink. Is about mutual satisfaction and gratification. It's about respecting one another and showing you that you can rely on me. I want to take care of you. Show you how special you are. The only thing I want to control is your happiness. Have I tried to control you? Restrained you from wearing something? Do I pitch a fit when you walk alone with that bartender who clearly has the hots for you?"

"What? Damien doesn't..."

He cut me off with a knowing glare and I sighed, "No. But what happens if I do something you don't like."

Brandon smirks and pulls me closer. My breathing hitches as he runs his tongue up my neck and his husky voice whispers in my ear, "Then I'll strip you naked and bring you to the brink of orgasm over and over again until you're begging me to let you cum. Then I'll fuck you hard and remind you who I am."

"And who's that?" I asked matching his volume.

"You tell me."

"Daddy," the name sounded foreign on my tongue. Brandon's reaction however sends tingles through my body. He groans and pulls my hips down against hit growing erection.