NIXON // Tom Kazansky

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER EIGHT: UNLOCKED DOORS

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"Nixon, you're supposed to be in the informatory," Viper told me as I walked into class. "I'm fine sir," I told him, taking a seat with my notepad. "Good to have you back, Lieutenant." He nodded, and I returned it. He carried on with his lesson, but I didn't really pay attention. Mav and Iceman are the only two left for the TopGun Trophy, so that's fun.

"Maverick, Iceman, get in the air." Viper told them. "Dismissed." he told the rest of the class. I walked out and started going towards the windows at the front of the building, watching Ice and Mav fly. "Are you alright?" I felt a hand on my shoulder. "I'm fine." I told Kazansky, shooting him a soft smile and leaning back in the chair. "Go beat his ass." I said, he smiled and gave me a squeeze on the shoulder, then left.

I was watching what I could from the observatory, watching the Bogies and Ice. Mav had a clean shot, but Ice was in the way. It was like watching two top players play their game and not know what they're doing. If I would just move, Mav could get the perfect shot and be done with it. But you know Iceman, he doesn't stop until he gets what he wants.

"What the fuck?!" I almost screamed as I saw Ice py right and put Maverick and Goose in a jet wash. Their plane spun around and around, heading towards the mountains. They continued into a spiral, I just hoped they would be smart enough to know they couldn't get out of Ice's jet wash. Then I saw the two eject, oh thank fucking god.

I watched the plane crash into the mountains, then I watched as only one of the two men came up, that one being Maverick. He pulled Goose up into his arms and held him. The Coast Guard came a few minutes later, taking the two into the chopper. When I saw Goose being taken up, I just hoped he was unconscious. But deep down I knew he was dead.

-

I watched as Maverick came out Chopper, tears in his eyes. I hadn't ever seen him like that. Goose was dead, there was nothing we could do about it. He had a towel wrapped around his body and a cold expression on his face. He walked up to me, looking me in the eyes. "H-he's dead." he stuttered out. I swear I felt my heart break into ten thousand fucking pieces.

I pulled Maverick into my chest, hugging his wet flight suit tightly. He sobbed into my shoulder, his hands around my waist loosely. "He was my family, Nix." he told me, I just rubbed his back, feeling tears of my own come into play. "Hes gone, he's just gone." Mav whispered. I just tightened my grip on him and held his shoulders tighter.

"He was my responsibility," he sobbed. He was shivering from the coldness of the water. "He was my responsibility and I didn't take care of him," Mav told me. I couldn't just sit here and not do shit. "Its not your fault, Mav" I said while running a few fingers threw his hair. "He's gone because of me!" he said, pulling back and looking at me with a sympathetic look. "Im sorry, Pete." I tried to copy his look, but I just couldn't.

"Im going to the medics," Maverick told me, I nodded. My uniform was wet, but for a good cause. I went a different direction home, wanting to be there quicker than ever. I dont care if I should've left an hour ago.

I got into my apartment at about 8:30, stopping for some fast food on the way here. I could hardly eat. All I could think about was how happy Goose was, his little Great Balls of Fire! Sayings every time he did something cool. I already missed the way he teased me for having the hots for Kazansky. Even though I dont.

I've never handled loss the 'right' way. I remember in eighth grade my best friend of 12 years committed, I didn't shed a single fucking tear for months. I just felt empty. I felt as if I had no purpose anymore, if I didn't have anything to live for. I always thought she would just appear one day, but she didn't. Even thinking of it now, I cant believe she's actually gone.

What is Kazansky thinking?

I got up and walked over to my bed, lightly pounding on the wall, no answer. I know he's in there, he's not answering. "Kazansky!" I yelled, but it was in a soft voice. Still no answer. I sighed, knowing what was going through his mind. It was his jet washed that Maverick and Goose were in, he thinks its his fault.

I got up and walked out of my door, going across the building and making it to his door. I turned the handle, surprisingly it was unlocked. "Kazansky," I knocked on the doorframe. His door was open, but I didn't really want to look inside. "What?" he mumbled. Thank god! Hes alive!

I walked into his room, laying flat on his bed. "How did you get in here?" he asked, staring at the ceiling. He didn't even make eye contact with me. "Doors unlocked." I mumbled. "I know what youre thinking-" he cut me off. "I killed him." he said. "I fucking killed him." I watched his eyes get watery and his lips start to quiver. "He's dead because of me." he sniffled and rubbed his nose with his middle finger.

"Tom," I looked over at him, he just looked at me with glossy eyes and a sad expression. "You didn't kill him." I looked him in the eye. They were a brighter shade of blue than usual. "Its my fault, Kennedy." he let out a breath after that, his eyes still forming tears in them. "Im a horrible person," He went on, I just pulled him into my chest for a hug, the same way I did for Maverick. Except this one was more emotional and in a bed.

"Youre not a horrible person, Tom." I ran my fingers through his hair as he cried. "I just killed a man." He said through sobs. "I cant even imagine what Mitchel is goin' through right now because of me." he said, hugging me tighter. "I cant believe-" he choked on a sob. "Oh fuck," he said, burrying his head into my shoulder. "Im not gonna tell anyone that youre crying in front of me, Kazansky." I smiled, making him crack a grin into my neck. "Im sorry," he said, I just rubbed his back, not responding at all.

"Can you stay with me?" He asked, looking up into my eyes. I nodded. "I'll say as long as you need, Kazansky." I told him. "Call me Tom." I said. I smiled. "I would say call me Kennedy, but you already do that." I told him. "I like your name. It suits you." He mumbled. I just grinned and closed my eyes, trying to sleep.