Forged Bonds (BxB)

CHAPTER 13

Friday night had come and I wasn't at all excited for Oliver's party.

I kept repeating to myself it wouldn't be as bad as the other ones were. I wasn't in the same town. I wasn't around the same people. And I was going with Jeovanni. He should be enough to make things tolerable. And he should be enough to remind me not to be a violent prick like I always was.

Even with the soothing thoughts I forced myself into having; I couldn't stop thinking about the parties I had thrown in my home town those past few years. The memories worked like broken records in my mind, stopping me from focusing on the present.

"No, c'mon, Jack, she's into you, I mean it" Brayden pushed me towards Brianna's direction "Go get her"

I gulped, looking to where Brianna – a random cheerleader I knew the name only because Brayden wouldn't stop talking about how big her boobs were – was standing, with a drink in one hand and twirling a lock of her blonde hair with the other while looking me straight in the eye.

Why the hell would she be into me? I never even talked to her. Nor had I spared her a glance whatsoever. It made no sense. And the thought that I'd have to shove my tongue down her throat to keep Brayden from bothering me – because anyone who refused a girl with breasts as big as hers must be a fairy – was excruciating.

If only I had something nice to think about while doing it. But I hadn't. And I wasn't an expert on thinking about nothing. My mind always appeared with memories I hated to keep me company. So it wasn't great kissing Brianna that night. And remembering the times I got beaten up by my father while doing it – because those memories seemed to know no boundaries. It all got worse when she lead my hands to her tits. You have to like this, you have to like this, you have to like this, my head kept repeating. But I didn't. And all that together with the alcohol in my stomach made me interrupt the kiss so I could throw up in the bathroom.

"Dude, what the fuck" I couldn't spend a minute on my own in the bathroom before Brayden decided to watch me vomit with an amused laugh "Is she that bad?"

"I'm just drunk, Brayden" I threw a roll of toilet paper at him "Get out"

"No, c'mon, recover yourself" He made me roll my eyes "Kyle is here, by the way. He brought coke. Should I buy us some?"

I nodded at him, and was happy when he left me alone as I wished to be.

Alone. I didn't think I'd ever change the way I felt about being that way. Better saying, I didn't change the way I felt. I just saw this feeling with another perspective. Before, it was relieving. But that's probably because the alternative of being alone was be surrounded by people like Brayden or my other 'friends', who never seemed to care enough to notice I wasn't okay – even though we had met when we were practically babies in our first year of school. My companies were them or my father. Either way, no one was truly there. I didn't blame them entirely. I wasn't exactly the type of person someone would want to have around.

But here, the relief was gone. And only one feeling remained the same: the loneliness. The one that made me hurt myself along with my self-hatred. I didn't know if that change was a good thing after all. But I knew it happened because of the people that were here. Danielle, Mallory and Alvarez were nice to me. And Jeovanni... Jeovanni never felt so right at the same time he never felt so wrong. Either way, he felt real.

He made a war start itself within myself. And surprisingly, that was a good thing. Before, there was no fighting. I was slaughtered by myself every day, and I didn't have the strength nor the need to resist. But now, there was this voice. It's more like a whisper. Saying that maybe, just maybe, I could be someone else. Someone better. And that someone would still be me.