You aren't worthless

Busted

*Leo's POV*

I woke up, feeling busted. It had been long since I blacked out like that, I thought it wouldn't be happening again... but I guess I was wrong.

Got out of bed and opened the curtains covering the massive windows in my room. The view was truly amazing, the sun shining bright, a vivid blue sky and the birds flying high. It was supposed to feel nice but I don't know, it seems like something was missing and indeed there was.

I dragged myself towards my enormous bathroom, void of life. The colourless dark paint didn't do anything to improve my mood.

I felt weird I haven't felt like this in a long while. I tried to shrug it off and continue my morning duties.

After I took care of my basic hygiene necessities I made my way to the kitchen to make myself something for breakfast.

"Hey Leo." I heard Camilla say as I sat on the kitchen island. "You good?" she looked at me, I love her, she cares so much and I just ignored her.

She starred into my eyes and did notice something was wrong, I was wrong.

"Leo did you consider going to your therapist again?" I shook my head "No, I didn't and I won't. I told you I don't wanna talk about it.

"Why? Leo you definitely need help. Look at yourself you are void of life, you didn't even bother to wear the same socks." She paused.

"I know you loved- love him" she corrected "but this has gone way too far... you barely spend quality time with your son anymore. I'm the one that cares for him now, you're his DAD it's not fair for him. He needs his dad!" she screamed

"You don't know how I feel, why would you even say that!" I screamed back. "Exactly, You don't tell us anything, even your best friend Leo... he doesn't know what's happening with you. Everything was fine until the day Pique fell, and it feels like you relapsed."

"You are not yourself anymore..." "I haven't been myself since that day." I said emotionless "and I won't be myself ever again, that Leo you knew is gone."

I left the table without saying another word, I made my way to my room and shut the door. Tears fell down my face.

It hasn't been easy, to move on. Everybody said it would be alright but it's not. It never is. I miss him, his touch, his laugh the way he'd make me feel. The way he could brighten my day with just a smile, it amazed me, it still does.

I feel dead and only he can revive me, his warm embrace, his soft and calm demeanour. I miss that.

Flashbacks of us together clouded my mind, I sat there for hours bawling my eyes out. Crying for help, his help. I'm worthless without him.

I woke up again, it was dark now, the stars shining bright and the city lights lit up the gorgeous view, it made a tiny smile appear, I needed that.

I got dressed and went out my room and walked straight to the garage, started my car and went out.

Late night drives always made me feel better, the city lights just shine through me, the streets were always empty when I need them to be.

I drove around for fifteen minutes before making my way to my favourite club in Barcelona.

I walked through crowd of paparazzi's before getting in the building, they took a tone photos of me as it not common to see me out here, I'm usually the stay home kind of person but today and needed a breather and a beer too.

The lights were dim as to not recognise each other from far, everyone wearing dark clothing enhancing the dark silhouettes from the dim lights, the song so high I barely heard my own thoughts.

I ordered one beer and sat in one of the stalls next to the counter, I watched as the others had fun, as they danced and kissed. The night was still young and it made me smile, you it seemed easy to be happy.

I got up and walked towards the restroom, bobbing my head in the rhythm of the song, dodging the people in the dance floor. I had successfully made my way across the room, towards my destination.

After using the urinals I stepped back and bumped on someone, "Oh, so sorry, I didn't mean to-" and there he was in the flesh.

"Lionel." I froze, "Don't worry not a big deal-" and before he noticed I had left the room.

I went back to my car and hit my head on the honk.

I was starting to come to my senses but there was he, I had taken two steps forwards and then to take 4 steps backwards.

That night I cried myself to sleep because whenever I don't need him he is there. 

*A/N*

*THANK YOU FOR READING MY BOOK, I KNOW THIS CHAPTER WAS SHORT BUT I'M JUST GETTING BACK TO WRITING AND THERE WASN'T REALLY MUCH I COULD ADD TO THIS CHAPTER

MAYBE I'LL EDIT IT SOMEDAY BUT FOR NOW HAVE SOME SHORT LEO ANGST*