Life After Z

Chapter 7 - Lucas

I didn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I relived the moment when Sebbie's eyes closed for what I thought had been the last time. I couldn't believe that I had given up on him. Ivy had known him for mere minutes and had more faith than I had.

It wasn't okay. It was so far from okay.

Sebbie's mom hadn't wanted me or him, so it had always been up to me to make sure that he always had everything he needed. Even more than that, it was my job to make sure he always knew that he was loved and important even though she left him. From the moment he was born, Sebastian had become my whole world, and the fact that the dead now roamed the streets didn't change that fact.

I lifted the pot of boiling water off the fire and poured some into Sebbie's instant oatmeal before making up a mug of instant coffee for myself. Sebbie and I were huddled around our small fire cradled in the portable fire pit that we had bolted down to the roof of the shipping container. Sebbie was sitting in a CrazyCreek chair, silently staring into the flames. I handed him his breakfast and sat down next to him.

"Want to tell me why you left the truck yesterday?" I asked in a gentle voice. I had to actively keep any anger out of my voice because he had scared the living shit out of me. Seeing him outside of the window with Zs and not being able to reach him was up there in the worst-case scenario box.

"I needed you," he said and with those three words, he broke my heart. He needed me and I wasn't there. My throat clogged with tears and I pulled him into my lap so that I could hug him with everything within me.

"I'm here, Sebbie. It's me and you. Always," I vowed and tucked his head under my chin. We sat like that for a while as my thoughts raced with ways that I could be a better dad. The sounds of someone scaling up the ladder roused me from my thoughts and Sebbie wiggled out of my hold to run up to Everett. The tall man swung my little boy up into the air before catching him in a hug.

"Morning little bug," he grumbled and I could hear his lack of sleep in his voice.

"Morning," Sebbie chirped back. Everett put him down and exchanged a head bob with Cooper and Jen who both had binoculars out and were scanning the area for Zs and Ivy's group.

"Anything?" Cooper asked, sounding almost as tired as Everett.

"Nope. Nothing all night. If I hadn't seen her with my own eyes I would have guessed this whole town was abandoned. I looked around some and there was a layer of dust on everything. Wherever these people are, they don't come into town," Everett relayed and I handed him a mug of coffee.

"Do you think we should do an organized search?" Cooper asked with the binoculars still glued to his face.

"That will leave the truck unguarded. What if they are just waiting for us to leave before making their move?" Jen asked, mixing herself a second cup of coffee. "We should just move on. Keep mobile like we always do."

"We keep moving to scavenge supplies. This town has been hit but not picked clean. There is a lot that we can find here. I saw several diesel trucks in the neighborhoods that we can siphon from. We can search the houses for inhalers and other meds too. Maybe if we make enough of a racket these people will come out of the woodwork, two birds one stone," Everett replied, looking towards Cooper for a decision.

"And what exactly are we going to do when they do? What do you think they will want from us?" Jen asked.

"Looks like we are about to find out," Cooper said, coming to attention and looking attentively down the dirt road we were parked down. "Ivy. On a bike. Caring a pack larger than yesterday. Seems to be alone again."

Everett snatched the second set of binoculars from Jen as I stood and squinted into the morning sun. Sure enough, Ivy was riding towards us on a townie bike. I felt my face split into a smile and I scurried down the ladder to greet her. Both Sebbie and Cooper followed me down leaving Jen and Everett with the high ground. Normally I would have insisted Sebbie stay on the roof or go into the truck where it was safer but I trusted Ivy with my son.

She had earned it.

Ivy stopped a dozen feet away from us and eyed us warily before stepping off her bike. She still didn't come closer so I decided to break the growing tension. "Good morning!" I told her in a chipper voice. "We are so happy you came back."

My words must have given him either permission or courage because Sebbie chose that moment to run up to Ivy while yelling her name, just like he did with us. Ivy instantly dropped to one knee and opened her arms in invitation. I felt Cooper tense beside me, clearly nervous about Sebbie running from us and toward someone not in our group but I wasn't worried. The look of pure joy on Ivy's face as she hugged Sebbie said it all for me. She was already half in love with my boy and I would bet my left nut that she would protect him with her life.

Cooper gave them a moment before asking, "How did you find us?"

"The smoke," Ivy replied, standing and focusing on us instead of Sebbie. "I brought you something. I didn't want to intrude but I wanted to give it to you before you left." She then pulled her pack from her back and took a plastic grocery bag filled to the brim from within. She handed the bag to Sebbie but he didn't seem too excited when he looked inside.

Sebbie ran back to me and I took the bag from his hands. What I found inside was better than every single present I had been given in my life combined. Inhalers. Boxes and boxes of inhalers still in the original packaging and sealed in plastic. Tears made my vision cloud and I took a step toward the beautiful miracle worker standing before me.

But she flinched. Stepping back to maintain the same distance between us. Ivy might be okay with Sebbie breaching her personal space but clearly, I hadn't earned that from her yet. That was okay. We had time. Now that Sebbie had what he needed, we had time. I had time to earn her trust and hopefully her love too.

"Thank you," I declared and Cooper took the bag from me to see what was inside. "You have no idea what this means to us. To me. Thank you."

"You were right," Ivy replied, still eyeing us warily. "We don't have anyone with asthma so they are no use to us. They cleared the entire pharmacy. Took everything just in case."

Ah, so she did have a group. It made sense. You need people to watch your back to survive nowadays. But a foolish part of me had hoped Ivy was unattached.

"Why did you lie yesterday?" Cooper asked, sounding suspicious. He didn't get it. He still thought Ivy had an ulterior motive for helping us. He didn't get that she wasn't doing this for us. She was doing it for Sebbie.

We might not be worthy of the risk she was taking, but he was.