Life After Z

Chapter 32 - Lucas

After practically licking his plate clean, Coop directed me to do anything in my power to help Ivy with any problems she may have around this place. He may have prefaced the request with the argument that we needed to prove our utility so that Ivy would let us stay but I knew there was more to it. Coop was used to being the man with a solution. He was the definition of a type A personality doer. It was killing him that he was weak and lying in bed while someone else provided food, care, shelter, and security.

Coop needs to contribute. We all do.

With that in mind, Everett and I went looking for the girls and Sebbie in the Italian restaurant. We found Jen in the walk-in fridge looking through all of the canned and fresh food that Ivy had stocked. Everett was also drawn to the immense amount of food and veered off to join Jen. I was more interested in finding Ivy and Sebbie. Every time I saw them together my heart beat just a little bit faster and the bubble of joy in my chest grew.

I was insanely attracted to Ivy on a physical level but it was more than that. I was also drawn in by her kindness and the innate motherly nature that she freely demonstrated toward my son. I could never be in a relationship with someone who didn't love my son. It just wouldn't be possible because Sebbie is a part of who I am. Trying to leave him out would mean denying a piece of me.

Ivy already loved my son. Now I just had to earn my own way into her heart too.

I found them on the patio. Ivy had converted the fenced-in space into a small farm. Okay, that might be overstating things but there was a goat and a dozen chickens in the small enclosed space. Ivy was sitting on a crate next to the tethered goat as Sebbie squatted beside her and the two dogs looked on with interest. I took a closer look and saw that there was a large metal pot under the goat and Ivy was showing Sebbie how to milk it. Sebbie's eyes were the size of saucers and as I watched he asked if he could try. Ivy nodded her head and guided his hand to the udder. She then patiently explained what to do until Sebbie got the hang of it.

Sebbie finally noticed me and yelled with a joy-filled voice, "Look, Daddy! Milk! I am milking a goat."

Ivy's smile mirrored my own and I knew that all of the bullshit that we have lived through since Z-day was one hundred percent worth it. My son still had a life. It might not look anything like what it did before, but here he was experiencing joy. I had been right. This place would offer Sebbie something to work towards. We could build a life with joy and happiness here.

"I see that Seb. Maybe later Ivy can show us how to turn that milk into cheese," I commented hoping that Ivy would see that I was really the one that wanted to learn. I didn't know anything about goats, chickens, or how to process food, but I liked the idea of taking over duties in the kitchen.

"Ooo yes! That would be so cool! What else can we make out of milk?" Sebbie asked and turned towards Ivy, completely abandoning the goat. I walked over and squatted on the other side of the goat and studied the udders. I hoped milking a goat was easy as it looked in the movies. I grabbed an udder and pulled down, but nothing happened. No milk came out.

"We can also make yogurt. It tastes different than yogurt from cow's milk but after a while, you get used to it," Ivy said while she leaned in and showed me what I was doing wrong. It was the first time that she had initiated touch and damn did it feel good. So good that I was finding it hard to concentrate on milking the goat.

"You know, we never got a chance to talk about last night. I don't know what we would've done if you hadn't shown up with that tranq gun. You once again flew in and saved the day like some sort of superhero. How'd you even know we were in trouble?" I asked and my nerves jumped when Ivy quickly pulled her hands away from mine.

"You can see pretty much the whole town, including that farm from the observatory with a good set of binoculars. I was keeping an eye on you guys to see what sort of people you are when I saw the sets of approaching headlights. At first, I thought that they might have been the rest of your group. So I went to the farm to see if you were someone I needed to protect myself from. Turns out that the answer to that question is yes. Yet I was still stupid enough to bring you here. My mother was right when she told me that my savior complex was going to get me killed one day," Ivy said without meeting my gaze.

The air in my lungs felt heavy and my heart squeezed in my chest.

"Ivy, we would never hurt you," I tried to explain but her head snapped up and I saw burning anger and hurt in her eyes.

"You served me up to those men like a sacrificial lamb for the slaughter. Even if everything Everett said was just a ploy to buy time, that doesn't change the fact that you bought an in with that group with my life."

"It wasn't like that. We didn't - "

"It was exactly like that!" Ivy yelled and stood when the goat spooked. "I was there. I saw everything. I saw Jen, Cooper, and Everett choose to throw me under the bus to save their own skin. And you just kept your mouth shut as they planned their little ambush. I get it. I really do. It is a us or them kind of thing. I am just angry at myself for not having the backbone to do the same. I should have never returned after giving you the inhalers. I should have just let things play out. You all would have ridden off into the sunset with your new group you were so eager to please and I could have remained safe. But noooo, I just had to ignore every instinct I have and give you everything I have worked so hard for on a silver platter."

"Just because we are here doesn't mean that we are going to take this place or anything in it from you. We want to build this into a home with you. Everything I want for my and Sebbie's future is with you. Please Ivy, can't you see how much we need and want you?" I pleaded with her because I had no idea what else to do. No idea how to fix this.

"I can see how much you want and need what I can provide for you. An already secured building. Sustainable food. Power and amenities. Not to mention medical intervention. And I can see that I am not in a position of power. If you don't want to leave, you can easily overpower me. And even if you don't stoop to that, I still have my conscience to contend with. There is no way I could live with myself if I kicked you out and something happened to that innocent sweet boy. So what I can see is that what I want doesn't matter. You decided to betray me. You decided you wanted my home. You decided to inject me into your future. And you did all of that without taking my wants or needs into consideration.

"So welcome home. You got what you wanted. Just please do me the courtesy of not sugarcoating it or saying it is for my benefit. That's not what happened here," Ivy declared before turning on her heel and disappearing inside