We Were Doomed From the Start

Chapter 7

 It had directions and drawings. Step by step on how to do it. I should've put it back where I found it but instead I read it. After reading the whole paper I guiltily put it back. I couldn't believe you could just make a portal. All you had to do was draw a circle from chalk, fill it with salt and stand inside. There isn't a way out. You have to make one. What made me feel worse was that the portal could fit one person. It didn't say much else. The room felt so cramped. 

I was so eager to go outside. There was a small window that no one could get out through. Ignoring the voice in the back of my brain that was telling me to stay inside or I'll get killed, I quietly opened the door and walked to Cameron's door and opened it a little bit. She was laying on her bed clutching the camera I had found earlier. She looked so peaceful sleeping. I slipped through the door and walked over to her. I untied her shoes and took them off. I opened the closet that was on the opposite wall and grabbed a blanket. I spread it across her and left her room silently. I walked down the hall to the vacant space where the elevator was supposed to be. I grabbed the rope and slid down. Then I walked down to the window. It was still open so all I had to do was slide through. The wind blew softly against my face as I went down the ladder step by step. I looked at the window half expecting Cameron to be there asking where I was going. But after waiting a couple seconds I reminded myself that she was asleep. I wonder if she's dreaming. If she is, what is she dreaming of?

I walked down the alley when questions flooded my brain. What am I doing here? Why did I even come here? Why do I want Cameron to be with me so badly? It's not just because she is a good friend. It's not because we have already gone through a lot in two days. It's something else.

 A feeling that's so unfamiliar that I almost hate it. "People are afraid of things they don't understand." That's something my father used to say all the time. "So try to understand things before assuming that it's harmful or a threat." I thought about the feeling and how I only felt it when I saw Cameron and thought about Cameron. I had never felt it before. It was frustrating that I couldn't put it into words. I went to the field I saw earlier. I looked around scared that Shadows would come running at me deeply excited to tear me apart limb by limb.

 I didn't see anything so I walked through the field of tall weeds. I found a spot in the middle that had only weeds scattered and lay down. The stars were shining and it was a full moon. It was silent except for the sound of crickets. I remember at my old school my "friends" all had boyfriends. My sister also had a boyfriend. I had asked them why dating someone was that important to everyone.

"Why are you even dating him? He is such a jerk to everyone including you?" I was confused. Adriana laughed, "He acts like that but he loves me. That's just how he shows he loves me."

"Love. What does it feel like to love someone?" I had never "loved" someone so the feeling was alien. "It's a warm feeling. You feel at home and safe around that person. At first it's confusing but after time you find yourself understanding it. You'll want to be around that person.

 Want to impress them. Want them to approve of you. Sometimes it'll be dangerous and turn into an obsession. There was a guy I used to like and I stalked all of his social media accounts. 

I felt upset and angry if other girls hung out with him. Then he got a girlfriend and I was so jealous that I attacked her. She got pretty banged up. That's the story of how I spent a year in juvie. One day you'll find love. I can't wait till that day comes! What a joyous day that'll be. The day my little sis finds someone she likes. That boy will be so lucky." She exclaimed and hugged me tight.

That's what she told me. Look where that got her though. A 20 year sentence in jail. Her boyfriend started doing drugs and led her down the same path. You are who you hang out with. Then she lit her boyfriend's house on fire. After 2 years she was dead. Apparently they tried to save her but she ended up dying anyway. All love did was ruin her life until she decided to end it.