As much as you want [Chishiya x Reader]

Chapter 13 - Come love me

Trap me in amber with you
In the moment I fell in love with you

You sat on the floor of Chishiya's room, your legs crossed, a pen in your right hand and a white piece of paper in front of you.

"What was what Kuina said again?" The blonde man asked, eyebrows raised.

"So, you have to draw a tree..." You started to do so. You drew roots, a trunk with a hole in the middle (there was a squirrel living there, but you were definitely not an artist and chose to leave that detail to the imagination of the viewer... Until you thought better about it and painted an arrow pointed at the hole, writing the world squirrel next to it, because not everyone would reach the same conclusion as you). "And the way you do it is supposed to tell you a lot about yourself."

"I see. Do you know you stick out your tongue when you concentrate on something?"

"Yes. Inheritance from dad."

He smiled, but you couldn't see it, fully invested in your painting as you were.

You had spent the day hanging out with Kuina and Tatta, Chishiya having been in an executive meeting for most of it. The Hatter had left for a game a few hours ago, having to finally renew his visa and you guessed he probably wanted to make sure everything would be okay during his absence.

That was when Kuina had told you about the tree-drawing theory, something a therapist had explained to her long ago.

And, since life without a phone or streaming services or a beautiful blonde man by your side was pretty boring, you had decided to try and psychoanalize yourself. Chishiya had entered the room when you were about to start.

You kept drawing, adding leaves here and there, but because it was autumn, most of them were on the ground. In your head, it all made sense.

"Finished!" You exclaimed, lifting the piece of paper and showing it to Chishiya.

He examined it for a few minutes, clearly amused.

"It looks like a tree." He declared, solemnly.

"Yes, I know! But what does it say about me?"

"I already told you, I'm not a psychologist."

"Well, but think! Give me your honest opinion."

"That you like squirrels?"

"Not really. They are fine. I just think everyone has a right to decent housing."

Chishiya's brown eyes focused on you, and for a moment, he turned serious.

"You really are fascinating."

"Was it the trunk that told you that?"

He chuckled. You laughed out loud.

"I think it doesn't work when you don't have the answers. Like, what does a hollow trunk were a squirrel lives mean? The fact that most leaves are on the ground?"

"I don't know."

You sighed, left the pen on the floor and climbed to bed with him, putting your face next to his to take another look at your drawing. And because you enjoyed proximity.

"It still is a work of art."

"If you say so."

You opened your mouth in surprise, pretending to be outraged by what he was saying.

"Are you implying my art is not good?"

"You want an honest answer?"

"No. Lie to me."

"Deserves to be in a museum."

You burst into laughter, dropping the act. You actually did not feel offended at all. You knew painting and drawing were not among your talents.

"You can keep it. So that it reminds you of me, just in case."

"As if I needed anything to remember you."

But, as he said those words, he folded the piece of paper in half and placed it on the pocket of his white hoodie, which turns out you had not ruined with your little emotional outburst from before, because tears dried and left no stains. Good to know.

You smiled from ear to ear. He couldn't have said anything better.

"You look happy."

"I'm so happy I could sing."

Chishiya frowned, slightly. "Didn't know you liked singing."

"Well, I was not really serious, but I do like singing. You have heard me many times."

His half smile told you he was about to mess with you, but nothing could have prepared you for what he said afterwards.

"Ah. Yes, what was it? Holding hands won't be enough...?"

"In a world giving head to a gun."

Your cheeks flushed red when you answered. You had sang that song the day you were hanging out after holding hands for the first time, as a way to discreetly tell him you were desperate for more physical contact. How did he remember? You thought he hadn't been paying you attention.

You felt mortified. So you did what you knew best - kept talking.

"It's from a band I like. They have a lot of love songs. They are like rock n' roll but like rock n' roll for when you like someone. It's romantic but not too sappy. Or well, it is sappy but in a very artistic way. Like poetry. Like... Well, the song made me think of you, so I just sang it. I was trying to express myself."

"Do you have any other songs you would like to dedicate to me, then?"

"You are not about to get an a cappella concert from me, especially not for free."

"I'll give you something in return."

You were about to say no, never in a million years, that maybe in his dreams you would... But you didn't. Because while a part of you was scared of actually confessing your feelings to him, another actually wanted to say many, many things that you couldn't put into words that easily.

"Okay, there's one. I usually would also play guitar while singing, but you are just going to have to imagine. Don't laugh. I said I liked singing, not that I'm any good at it. I'm also not good at playing guitar, or any instrument. Like, I'm not awful, but I'm not particularly good either, not by any means." You kept going, nervous as you were. You took a deep breath and...

Here lies a heart that feels
Touched by fire, howling at the moon for you
Caught in dusk, heartstrings out of tune
From the abyss pirouette my way back to you
Come love me numb
Come love me till it hurts
Dance the neon noir with me
Come love me

That was awful. You had closed your eyes while you were singing and were almost afraid to open them and find him laughing. But you still did.

And he was staring at you, expresionless. And for the thousandth time, you wished he was a tiny bit easier to read. You felt like you were drowning and he was just looking at the water instead of helping.

He placed his hand on the back of your neck, making all the hairs on your body stand on end, pulling you closer.

And his lips were on yours.

The kiss lasted no more than a few seconds, the shock of it giving you no chance to react properly to it. A million thoughts running around your head, how wonderful it had been, how worth the wait, how you wanted many, many more...

"I feel like a siren." You whispered, remembering the mythological beings, half bird, half beautiful woman, that were known for their bewitching voices and that lured sailors to their death with their song.

You almost wanted to punch yourself right after. That's all you had to say after a first kiss!?

Chishiya laughed, luckily finding the comment a lot more endearing than you did.

"Like I said, you are fascinating."