As much as you want [Chishiya x Reader]

Chapter 23 - I don't want this moment to ever end

I want you to know
With everything, I won't let this go
These words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment, you know
As I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

You were on the tenth round.

Or was it the eleventh?

You couldn't even remember. You were so tired. Chishiya usually woke up early, and you with him. But while he was perfectly content with about seven hours of sleep, you needed ten at the very least.

You placed your elbows on a table, and were holding your head between both hands, drifting off. Your eyes would close and you had to force them to open. You felt sluggish, and would have given one of your little fingers for a warm bed and a nice nap. Maybe even both. What did you use them for, either way? You had read something about how people in the future wouldn't have them any longer. Or were those the pinky toes?

People kept dying.

That was nothing new, people had died in almost all of the games you had been to. In this one, though, it was particularly barbaric, because their deaths were being caused by the lies of other players and not just by the circumstances of the game itself.

Poor Ippei couldn't bear it any longer.

"Why are they lying to each other? This is so cruel I... I can't." His rambling speech went on, and on, and on, while he moved from one side of the room to the other. Your eyes focused on him. God, you were tired. But you still wanted to help. "I thought people were better than this."

"That's the whole point of the game." You sighed. You had said the same thing every round since the seventh. At first, kindly. Now, you were trying hard to keep irritation away from the tone of your voice. "They don't want to die. The only thing we can do is tell each other what our suit is, is the only way we will survive. Sometimes... Fear can turns us into monsters."

He observed you. You could tell he wanted to trust you, so much. But it was not that easy.

"I'm hungry I... I'll get something to eat."

You nodded, and went back to the not-yet-asleep-but-also-not-awake state you had been in for the last hour more or less.

Chishiya sat next to you and you smiled, groggily, in his direction.

"Hi."

"Are you okay?"

"Just tired. Adrenaline left my body at some point during the last three rounds or so."

He looked around. There was nobody around you. So he lifted his hand and placed it on your cheek, stroking it carefully. You moved your face to kiss the palm of his hand, wanting nothing more than to cuddle with him.

But you couldn't. Because he was still going on about how he didn't want anybody to use you against him in the game. Or so you thought. Maybe he didn't care anymore, because he surrounded your body with both arms, placing a kiss on the top of your head, which was now laying on his shoulder.

"You are adorable." You heard him say. You frowned, weirded out by his choice of words.

"I have never heard you say "adorable" before."

"I had yet to see something that would fit its definition so well."

"Do you know the exact definition of all the words in the dictionary?"

"No." He smiled while you accommodated your body on top of the bench the two of you were sitting in, almost melting into him.

You sighed, eyes closed, trying to enjoy his presence, his smell, his touch. You hadn't been this close in eleven hours. More if you counted the waiting time before the game started.

However, you still had an explosive collar around your neck, that seemed to scream "Hi! I'm here! Don't you forget about me!" every single time you got a little bit too comfortable.

"When do you think this will be over?"

"Soon, I think. There is only seven of us left."

"Is that why you are getting all mushy-mushy with me?"

You felt his body softly shake with laughter, but he didn't make a sound.

"Is it that hard to believe I might have missed you just as much as you have?"

"How did you know I missed you?" You opened one eye only, and stick your tongue out, which you did when you were joking, just in case he wouldn't catch that you were lying through your teeth. You had missed him to death. "Do you think it's really pointless for me to try to save Ippei?" You asked, wanting to know his opinion on the matter now that you could talk freely.

Both your eyes were opened now, and you had turned around so that your back was against his chest. Your face rested next to his.

"I only think it's pointless because he's not the sort of person to survive here. He has you, now. He won't have you in the next game."

"I'm not the kind of person to survive this, either."

He looked at you from the corner of his eye. "I disagree. But even if you weren't, you have me. Now and always."

How was it you could still feel sparks between you when he said those things? Wasn't the honeymoon phase supposed to be just that, a phase?

"In the beginning the game was really hard on me. I started to think maybe you were the Jack and you had been planning this ever since we met."

"While I'm honored you think that, because it means you think very highly of my stratagems, no. I try not to plan anything when it comes to you anymore."

"So you just go with the flow then?" You knew that sentence would horrify him, and it did, because you felt his body tense up and you could almost picture his eyebrows furrowing. "We should get matching tattoos. I'm thinking maybe a little alien with a cap on a skateboard. And then "go with the flow" really big, but like in comic sans."

"You can get that. Think I will pass."

You were giggling, and turned your head slightly to give him a kiss on the cheek. You loved him. You were not going to tell him again, but you did.

"If I had to get a tattoo for you it would be a cat."

"I thought you were the cat." There was a hidden question in the way he pronounced those words. He wanted you to explain your reasoning.

So you did. "You're like a street cat, mischievous, cunning, always used to getting what you want by whatever means necessary. You may look menacing at the beginning, but you end up purring and asking for scratches between the ears if given enough time. And lots, lots of treats."

His lips curved upwards. "What treats have you given me to have me like this?"

"I'm the treat."

This time he laughed, and made noise. But he suffocated it, burying his face on your hair. He left a kiss on the side of your jaw before he went back to his original position.

You stayed there a bit more, embracing. Until the ridiculous robotic voice told you it was almost time to guess your suit. You had almost forgotten.

"Yours is a heart." Chishiya said, checking what was in the back of your collar before standing up, and you nodded. Ippei had told you before and you remembered.

"And you have..." You moved his blonde locks so that you could see. "A heart, as well."

He also had yours.

You walked towards the jail cells, side by side.