Arranged-by-love || Chishiya Shuntarō x [reader] ||

7.0 ||i-dont-understand.||

Tw: ahhh angst.

[reader's] POV:

"good, you didn't get blood on you." her body had fallen to my feet. well--rather chishiya's--. There was blood everywhere. i felt sick. A dead body so close up--her neck is almost detached--and her skin was drenched in blood. "thats so terrible..." i said quietly. I got on my knees, and started praying. I prayed for everyone that died. Everone from the start, even before i got here.

***

The drive back to the beach was quiet. I don't think chishiya was scared or anything, just thinking. Maybe he was just quiet because he didn't know what to say to me after that. I'm scared shitless, though. I expected some people to die--yes--but not so up-close. I didn't even know that the tagger's has their own game. Maybe we could have thought of a way around it. Oh well, at least Chishiya is alive. We drove back with Aguni. "aguni-san?" i questioned. he grunted in response. "Where did your friend go? and why the fuck is there a giant gash on your eye?" i asked, sweetly. "he's dead. And the tagger had a machete, and slit me." he answered, holding a hankerchief to his face.

***

Back at the beach, chishiya went into his room, and i went into mine. While i was in my room, i decided to take a shower. I turned the water on, and waited for it to get hot. I stepped in, and just sat down. I heard the door open, and jumped up. "GET OUT!" i screamed. "its just me, wife." i heard chishiya. his voice is so <3. He opened the shower door, and gave me a towel, making sure not to look. I wrapped myself in it, and stepped out. "we have to talk." chishiya said. "okay, sure! just let me put clothes on, 'kay? 'cause I have a feeling that while we're talking, i might feel a bit exposed, idk." i said sarcastically. "oh..yeah."

"So, what is it you want to talk about, Chishiya?" i asked. "your recklessness." he said very sternly. "what do you mean?" "well, first off, you tried to go into the room that had an armed tagger, waiting to kill, or tag, anyone who gets in their way." he said. "you could have died. How can you not see that? you could have died. and for what reason? you wanted to save a stranger that you met 4 minutes prior? what the actual fuck is up with you?" he said angrily.

"what do you mean? why are you mad at me for this? your whole job is to save stranger's lives! why cant you understand me? im sympathetic, i have feelings! why cant i help?" i asked desperately. "My job is different. Im not risking my life for them. and it's not like they dont deserve to live!" he told.

"YOURE ACTING LIKE ARISU DOESN'T DESERVE TO LIVE." i yelled even louder. "he doesn't deserve to live more than you! youre more important to me! i would rather you live than him!" he yelled in lower case. "trying to save arisu is called being heroic. Although im not trying to be a hero to him--i felt like i had to help, you made him go in there first, risking his life for us! You threw him under the bus! I had to repay him somehow." i made a point.

"ITS CALLED BEING DUMB AND RECKLESS. YOU WOULDN'T HAVE SAVED ANYONE IF YOU WERE LIMP ON THE FLOOR, BLEEDING OUT." he yelled. actually yelled. "fuck you. im just trying to make up for your betrayal to him. he could have died because of you." i said. "YOU COULD HAVE DIED BECAUSE OF ME. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE ONE SHIT IF HE DIED? NO. BUT YOU. IF YOU DIED THERE WOULD BE NO POINT IN LIVING HERE. I WOULDNT TRY TO SURVIVE THIS PLACE. I CANT. IF I HAD LET YOU GO, AND YOU DIED, I WOULD NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF." he yelled, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. "this isn't about arisu." i suggested. "no. its not."

Chishiya's POV:

I was angry. how could she do this to me? how can she not understand that maybe if i hadn't saved her---she could be dead. If she risked her life for his, i could've been left alone, all over again. Fuck. i dont give a shit about arisu. he can die, i would kill him. but ever since the fucking start--she's willing to die for a fucking stranger.

....oh no. oh shit. fuck no, no, no, no. i felt the tears brimming my eyes. they were so close to falling out. I looked at the ceiling to put them back into their place. i looked up, and all it did was make them fall to the sides of my cheeks. Fuck gravity. All of a sudden, I felt the warmth of a body around me. Fuck, why does she have to be like this. burn my heart into ashes, then put it back together--just for fun--.

[reader's] POV:

"i'm so sorry, shuntaro. I thought i was doing something good, making up for past mistakes. I now see that it only made you hurt more. It didn't help arisu, nor did it help you, my number one priority." I said softly, soothing him in the process. "im sorry. I cant stop crying. fuck this is so annoying. i hate it." he said, sniffling 'nd all. I had my arms wrapped around and under is arms, patting and rubbing his back. i brought him to my bed, and sat him down. I kneeled onto the floor, and faced him. He was looking down, so i tilted it a little up, and wiped his tears.

"I dont usually cry, its just that when it happens, i have no control over it. Im sorry you're seeing me like this." he said quietly, voice cracking. He wouldnt make eye contact with me. "I dont mind the fact that you're crying. Im only bothered by it because it means your sad, or frustrated. And right now, im obviously why your frustrated." I said softly. I sat on the bed next to him, and hushed him to sleep. This whole thing was not too fun. I made him cry. thats not too fun. i watched him sleep--respectfully--and thought about the tag game. I got scared--and faced the other way. Yk, i dont want monsters being behind me, while im not looking. I slowly fell asleep, hoping that my partner was okay.

I woke up, not knowing what time it was, but it was still dark. I felt something warm, and keepung me from moving. oh...chishiya is hugging me. Okay weird, this is like the first time he's touching me, but okay. He's warm. Not to be obsessive, but hes warm. Hes pretty, too. I got lucky. If i wasn't forced to marry him, who would i marry? no one. Damn, hes pretty, his voice makes me--and everyone--go crazy, he cares ab me, hes able to cry in front of me....ahh hes everything. "what are you staring at? its still night, go to sleep, wife." fuck i was staring at him. "OH UH...i was just thinking about how your hair will all fall out by the time your 40. your hair is so fried that it'll be dead and un-growable by 40." i said, saving myself. "shut the fuck up and go to sleep." he said. "yeah, yup, uh-huh, for sure." i just faced the other way.

He grabbed me and spooned me again. my face flushed and i felt my stomach churn. Nah coz i dont get butterflies, i get acid. My stomach is doing flips rn. My heart is beating faster, and im starting to sweat. "we're married, why are you so afraid?" he asked. "shut up." I heard him start breathing slower, and snoring a little.

"im sorry, my love."

A/N:

AHHH 1,320 words! okay, so, you guys r being realll quiet, and ion appreciate that. plspslpspsplslsppslslp comment or talk, bc with this silence, i can hear crickets. oh btw, my ankle healed. i had a bad sprain lmao. okay stay safe, love you, bye ♡