Running Towards the Light

Chapter 19 - Phase One

Everyone was yelling. Everyone was screaming. Everyone.

My hands were clasped around my ears but I still could hear them. I heard them. I always heard them. I could never get away. I would never get away. Never be free.

I screamed along. Everyone was screaming. Though I wasn't screaming at anyone or for anyone. I was screaming to stop the screaming. Stop the screaming. My hands couldn't mask the loud noises but my mouth was. My mouth and my lungs were trying. Trying.

My hands clutched my head, my ears, my eyes. My head was buried within my knees that were tucked into my chest and under my chin. The only thing that separated them was my stuffed animal. Tears flowed out of my eyes and into my knees as I buried my head even deeper into my body, desperate to get away from everything.

Though someone had other plans. They always have other plans.

My upper arm was grabbed by a rough hand. I stopped yelling just long enough to hear their words.

"Stop fucking screaming!" They screamed at me. "You worthless, little brat!"

They? They? Who are they?

My heart started beating faster, harder, stronger. I couldn't see, I couldn't breath, I couldn't think. I couldn't remember. Who are they?

The person who had grabbed me ripped me from the wall my back was previously pressed against. I was sent flying across the ground, pain shooting up in my elbows and arms and my ribs. I was used to the pain. I was used to the pain.

More screaming. All around me. But I had stopped, I stopped screaming. I was just crying now, I was always crying. I was scared and helpless and too small, too young to be able to do something.

"Dad!" I sobbed as he moved towards me again, but something obstructed his path.

I heard a smash of something, and I knew who smashed it. She was always breaking things. Always looking for chaos and a fuss. I immediately moved my body till I hit another wall. I couldn't be seen. If I was seen they'd get mad. If I was seen I'd get hurt. I had to stay out of the way.

My name was being called. My name? My name: "Beatrice!"

I looked up to see a young boy, I knew this boy! I knew this boy. He was okay, he was safe. He had brown hair and green eyes.

An image flashed in my head, taking me from the chaos and the danger, it was the boy laughing and smiling. I looked curiously in that image before I was ripped back into reality.

The screaming started again. And the boy was no longer smiling, no longer laughing. It was as if he had never laughed in his life, was never happy, never smiled. Was never a kid. Never a kid.

He had worry and anger in his eyes. I could see the tears and feel his sadness, I felt his pain, felt it so much. So much sadness, so much anger, so much pain. It hurt so much. It hurt.

I ran to him, reaching out, trying to grab him, to reach that marker, to get to the top of the hill. To feel safe.

My hand was reaching out, but before I could grab his outstretched hand I was ripped back.

Ripped into darkness.

I was falling. Falling. Falling.

My legs and arms were flailing all around, trying to catch something but I just kept on falling. Falling into darkness. I didn't know when but my stuffed animal was gone.