Running Towards the Light

Chapter 28 - Night

It was so dark in here.

It was cold, and it was dark, so dark. Not the kind of dark where you're just waiting for your eyes to adjust, knowing that everything is okay and you're just waiting. The kind of dark where you know you'll never escape from it, from them. The kind of dark where you know things will never get better, but you still can't bring yourself to hope they do get better. The kind of dark where you're just begging for a single candle to come save you. But of course, it never does. For me at least, it never does

Tiny hands clutched the stuffed animal over my face and I tried to push myself to be smaller so no one would notice who I was or that I was even there in the first place. I couldn't look out. I couldn't know what was happening outside of the confines I was in. I couldn't let anyone see me.

I couldn't let anyone know I was here, that's what he had said. That's what he had said. I repeated in my head firmly, he said I couldn't let anyone see me. No one should know that I'm here. I had to listen to him. I had to.

"Get fucking back here, boy!" A feminine voice yelled outside of the tiny cupboard I was currently hiding in.

I just curled myself further and farther into my stuffed animal, making sure they couldn't see me through the little holes in the cupboard. I needed to stay hidden and protected. My stuffy would protect me, I know it would. It always protected me when my parents flipped out.

Where were the rest of the boys? My mind asked me, but I couldn't even seem to come up with any reasonable or unreasonable guesses for where these "boys" were? Which boys?

More screaming.

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" A new and younger voice yelled back, his voice stained with grief and such evident fear.

Was this one of the boys?

I let my stuffed animal lower from my face slowly and carefully. Holding my head slightly to the door so I could look out. My vision was cloudy from the tears so I was forced to squint if I had any hope of seeing or comprehending anything. Light shined through the small holes and right into my eyes, blinding me.

Right when I was able to see what was going on outside of my little cupboard a pair of piercing green eyes stared right into my sole. Anger behind them, fueling them.

I screamed for help and just screamed in general when the lady grabbed my hair and forcefully dragged me out of the cupboard.

"No!" The boy I had heard screaming before cried before I was suddenly thrown to the ground.

"FUCK! Wake up!"

My little body curled itself in a little ball again and I rocked back and forth, my hands covering my ears to save myself from the massive screaming and horror that was happening around me.

"Go get Cameron!"

Another voice yelled, but this one was a lot softer. Like it wasn't quite here. 

Faraway, unable to help me. No was was every able to help me. 

I don't know what happened next. There was a rush of black and white and all in between as people ran and fell apart all around me.

I was just standing there. Standing in the middle of a million scenes that flew around me. My stuffed animal clutched in my arms, but it was no longer gathering tears. It was like I was numb. Just standing there. Just watching everything happen because every time I wanted to do something about it, the scene disappeared. People yelled, and cried, some laughed, some were happy. But I couldn't be happy, I couldn't be sad. Because I was just watching. Watching everything happen and not being able to do anything.