Random story ideas I may or may not do at some point.

A d*ck wizard's blessing on this wonderful world!

Ok since the votes besides Morgan(RIP my love) were all 1, I just decided to think which one would fit best in Konosuba. So after much deliberating and asking for second opinions, I decided that Proto Merlin would work best. The others were too much of nuke the problem and didn't really fit the party too well. Artoria is Artoria, it would work but she's about as interesting as water flavored ice cream. Girl Gil would have an issue with the Enkidu fic since then Girl Gil would eventually get two fics of screentime, plus Gil's personality isn't the kind to party with idiots. Merlin on the other hand would totally party with idiots because he is one himself and just loves to watch people do dumb shit cause he's bored. So Merlin it is! Also might actually do this first since writing for solo leveling is harder than I thought...

-----------------------

Merlin P.O.V

I sip my tea. Ah, what a wonderful thing this is, and it's completely free! Well free so long as I'm not guilty about intruding on someone's store for no reason and never really buying anything. Which means yes, it is free, I'll keep abusing this until it stops working. I hear a jingle of the door's chimes, so I turn to look at the new customer, only to be greeted with a fist to the face. Ouch.

???: God Blow!

I feel myself go flying, but I land in a bed of roses, courtesy of myself. 

Merlin: Ow, my skin is very delicate, you know? Surely punches in the morning can't be good for it, Aqua.

Aqua: Damn you! Don't think you can hide what you are, demon!

Merlin: Now that's just mean, what demon could you be talking about? I'm nothing but a fair maiden-

Aqua: God Blow! 

I sidestep to the right, which results in Aqua falling face first since she put all of her weight into that punch. Also because I may have stuck my foot out a bit, tee hee?

Merlin: Oh dear! Do watch where you are going! Hitting your head may damage what precious little you have in there, so try to be more careful.

Aqua: Y-you... you... waahhhh! Damn you demon! Bullying a beautiful goddess like me! Wahhhh!!!!

*Jingle*

I turn my head and quickly wipe the smug grin off of my face and put on a much more polite smile. It seems the rest of the part of this useless goddess has arrived. That being Kazuma, the person who makes me question if I'm really the lustful demon here. Along with Megumin, the war criminal, and Darkness, my favorite target to give dreams to.

Kazuma: Aqua, stop bothering the poor undead and demons again with your stupid goddess antics! 

Aqua: What sort of evil sentence is that?! What has this world come to, where my justice is viewed as a bother?!

Kazuma: It's a sensible world, that's what it is. Now get off of the floor already! Oh yeah, sorry about this Merlin, this dumbass can't recognize helpful people for the life of her.

Aqua: They aren't helpful! They are the scum of society who leech off of hardworking people like me!

I feel myself snicker a bit... woops.

Aqua: Hey! Are you laughing at me?! I'm speaking the truth here!

Kazuma: Yes, yes, sure you are. Come on, it's time to get ourselves a bit more out of the bottomless pit of debt.

Aqua: Noooooo! I hate work! I hate it! I just want to drink my bubbly at home! Wahhh!

I watch as Kazuma picks her up by the back of her neck like some sort of misbehaving cat, and he begins to walk out the door while dragging her behind. They leave, but Darkness and Megumin still seem to be here. Ah, they must want a request again. Oh well, I don't mind the extra business.