Station 553 | Taegyu & Heehoon

14) From People You Know

TW: depression, PTSD, emotionally abusive relationships

"Hey."

Heeseung glanced up, setting his book aside as Sunghoon crawled into bed with him. The younger boy lay face down, resting his head on Heeseung's chest.

"I miss you," he sighed, his voice muffled by Heeseung's shirt.

"What do you mean?" Heeseung asked, gently rubbing Sunghoon's back.

"Just like... I miss you," Sunghoon mumbled. "It feels like you're not here sometimes."

"I'm right here," Heeseung whispered back. "I promise."

He stilled for a moment before leaning in, pressing a lasting kiss to Sunghoon's lips.

The younger boy's eyes fluttered shut as he murmured, "Heeseung..."

"I love you," Heeseung urged. "I love you, Sunghoon."

Their kiss deepened and the ruffling of clothes filled the air. Heeseung shifted his weight, sliding down as Sunghoon straddled his hips. When Heeseung's fingers dug into Sunghoon's waist, the younger boy quietly moaned, a sound of both forlorn and want.

"Heeseung, I-"

"Shh. Don't think too much about it."

He watched Sunghoon's chest rise and fall, picking up speed until the boy's breathing ceased. Bliss overtook his face and then the hypnotic movement of his chest began again. Up, down, up, down. Sunghoon made breathing look so easy.

"I love you too."

"What?" Heeseung raised his head, snapping out of his daze.

Sunghoon draped himself over the older boy, smiling. "I said I love you too."

His body was a heavy weight on Heeseung's shoulders, pressing him down, down, into the ground. Heeseung couldn't breathe. He was back in a cage of ropes, the barrel of an assault rifle pressed to his forehead. But this time, it wasn't Beomgyu behind the trigger. Nor was it Baker, Ludwig, Doughboy, or even Jay.

It was Karina.

"Traitor," she sneered. "How could you leave us?"

A quiet, hallucinated click sent Heeseung into hysteria. He kicked and screamed, flailing his limbs in a wild attempt to free himself from the net. The memory of rope digging into his skin was all too fresh in his mind.

One of his arms caught Sunghoon's chest, sending the younger boy spilling to the floor. An unwelcome sob tumbled from Heeseung's lips. He squeezed his eyes shut. Another had him covering his ears. A quiet whimper came from the floor, but Heeseung didn't hear it.

Nor did he notice that Sunghoon lay where he fell, limp and defeated. Cheek pressed against frigid hardwood, the younger boy blankly stared at the leg of their dresser, making no effort to pick himself up off the freezing ground. A silent tear rolled down his face.

Because no matter how much Sunghoon denied it, no matter how many times he kissed Heeseung, loved him, forgave him, it wasn't enough. It would never be enough. The boy he once knew was gone.

There was nothing Sunghoon could do to bring him back.

***

"...Hello?" Heeseung crept into their house and quietly shut the front door after himself, finding it strange that neither Sunghoon nor Gauel came to greet him.

"In the kitchen," Sunghoon's voice replied.

Heeseung slowly rounded a corner, finding the younger boy sitting at the breakfast table with Gaeul in his lap. "Hey."

He set down his briefcase and shed his jacket. "How was your day?"

Sunghoon abruptly stood up, chair screeching against tile. He cradled Gaeul to his chest. "I want a divorce."

"What?" Heeseung reached towards the younger boy. "Sunghoon-"

"No, don't- don't touch me."

The older boy stepped back, sadness etched on his face. "Sunghoon..."

Sunghoon shakily exhaled, fighting back tears. "I- I've already decided, Heeseung. I found an apartment on the other side of the city, and I'm splitting the rent with two suitemates. They already helped me move my stuff. My lawyer will contact you in the morning."

"Why?" Heeseung whispered.

Sunghoon's lip trembled. "Because of you. I miss you."

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm here, aren't I?" Heeseung's forehead tensed. "I don't understand what this is about, Sunghoon. Nothing's changed."

"But it has."

"It hasn't, though."

"But it has, Heeseung!" Tears fell from the younger boy's eyes as he shook his head. "It's not the same anymore. You're not the same. You- I miss you."

"How can you miss me?!"

"Because you're not here! You're not real, you're not present, you never-"

"I'm right here!"

"Are you?!" Sunghoon shouted, the sound catching in his throat. "Are you really, Heeseung? Because you don't say hi to me anymore. You don't talk to me, you don't look at me, you don't-"

His voice broke. "You don't kiss me. You're not the same person I fell in love with."

He sniffled, wiping his face with his sleeve. "You once said you'd never do anything to make me feel unwanted. That we were fifty-fifty."

"We are," Heeseung insisted.

"It doesn't feel like that!" Sunghoon let out a frustrated sigh, turning away from the older boy. "I love you, Heeseung. I love you so much and I fucking hate you for it."

He took a shaky breath, readjusting his grip on Gaeul. "I can't keep doing this. I'm leaving and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

Heeseung didn't say anything. He lightly scratched the surface of their table, trying to get a stain out with his fingernail.

The younger boy pursed his lips, fists clenched with frustration. "I said I'm leaving, Heeseung."

"Okay."

"That's all you're going to say?"

Heeseung looked up. "What do you want from me, Sunghoon?"

Sunghoon relaxed his stance, slowly exhaling as if Heeseung's reaction was all the confirmation he needed. "Nothing. Just... Have a nice life."

He held Gaeul close, murmuring reassurance into the dog's ears as he walked out the door. Heeseung blinked, hand falling still on the table. Sunghoon was the only person he had left.

And now he, too, was gone.