Randy's pov:
Im running out of weed to sell :( I need money. And weed. I guess I need to get more.
"Sharron I'm going to look for more weed to sell!"
"Whatever randy I don't care anymore."
Damn she's in a mood today. Must be that time of the month.
Well I'm heading out to look for more weed to sell. That's fun.
After like idk 4 hours maybe??? I find myself in paradise.
"Holy shit this place is fucking amazing!!" I say.
These trees must have weed in them. I walk deeper into the forest and find another tall guy. He's picking the leaves??? Idk what they are so I'm calling them fluffy leaves. He must be trying to sell weed too. Oh hell no. Tegrity weed is the only thing people need.
"Hey you! What do you think you're doing!"
He gets up and looks at me and omfg I feel like I died and gone straight to heaven. This man is the most babygirl, hottest, daddy I've ever seen 😍😍 but I'm not gay. I'm complementing him. You guys need to stop making things gay Jesus.
"Uhm, what do you want?" The man says.
"I uhm are you selling weed?"
"Wtf. No I'm not sorry. I'm chopping down theses trees to make my thneed."
"Wtf is a thneed?"
"A fine thing that all people need. It can be used a million different ways!"
"Can it turn into weed?"
"Uh I don't know. Maybe."
"Then you need to stop! I need these trees because I need to sell the weed that grows on them!"
"Well I need them for my thneed, so back off asslicker."
"Asslicker? Who are you calling asslicker?"
Then we started fighting. He may be hot, but he's rude asf. Then out of nowhere, some orange thing with a yellow moustache pulls me away.
"Ay you two, cut it out," it says.
"AAAAAAAA!!! What the fuck is that?" I yell.
"I'm the Lorax and I speak for the trees!"
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," says the hot guy.
"Well whatever. You two leave! Get your stuff and get out."
"No! I need these trees for my weed!"
"No I need them for my thneeds!"
"I don't care! Get! Out!"
We obviously don't get out cus who tf listens to some hairy tangerine with a moustache? But the other guy is hot asf tho. This long legs and his goregous midnight black hair. I would smash him but not in a gay way. I have a wife and two kids that I totally love so much. And maybe this guy has a family of his own. Sigh, what do I doooooo.
YOU ARE READING
Randy marsh x the onceler
FanfictionThis fanfic is satire which is why it's written poorly One day, randy marsh decides to upgrade his weed business by finding more types of weed to sell. He goes to the truffula forest and he meets the onceler, a tall, handsome young man. They start o...
