Randy marsh x the onceler

Chapter 9

Randy's pov:

Oncies family is so fucking annoying. They're all so ugly. How is oncie related to them? Anyways, I haven't seen Stan since I called him a karen. I haven't seen Eric and Kyle either. Weird. Oh well, I don't need to think about them right now, I'm making thweeds.

I walk into oncelers room to find him putting on a green suit and a massive tophat while singing these lyrics:

"Well there's a principle in nature, that almost every creature knows. It's called survival of the fittest and check it this is how it goes."

"Sorry to interrupt but oh my god, " I say.

"Sir you're drooling."

"Yeah I know."

Bro that's the hottest thing oncie has ever done. That green blazer and that tie... goddamn... that's so hot.

"I also bought a new guitar," he says as he magically pulls out a red guitar.

"That's the coolest thing I've ever seen ohhhhh."

"Sir you need a makeover that straw hat and blue checkered shirt is not a good look."

"Aww I thought it was cool :("

"If you want to keep biggering, you have to look good while doing it."

"Okay fineeeee."

Oncie and i got matching suits but mine is blue and his is green. He looks so sexy in that suit though, and he tells me i look sexy in mine.

"You two need to stop!!!" Says the Lorax.

"Bitch get the fuck out," says oncie.

"No!! I am the Lorax and I speak for the trees!!! And the trees say let it grow!!!"

"The trees can suck my massive cock," I say.

Then oncie gets his guitar out and sings this:

"The animal that wins has gotta scratch and bite and kick and punch. And the animal that doesn't well the animal that doesn't winds up someone else's lu-lu-lu-lu-lunch."

Bro put that mofo in a pot and sprinkled salt and pepper on him. Slayed. Now hes crawling on that table to make an epic transition. That's so hot. We should make out on that table.

Anyways we've already sold 100000 thweeds. Goddamn everyone's getting high. And oncie and i are making a shit ton of money.

Then one day, as oncie and i were passionately making out on his desk, Stan breaks into our office out of nowhere.

"Dad what the fuck."

"Go away Stanley im a billionare."

"You said all this was for the family but you and the onceler are intertwining tongues."

"Thats was buisness partners do! They make out with eachother sometimes but everyone knows that's what they do. Just say you're homophobic and move on 🙄"

"Fine! Whatever im done!"

"Ok karen. Sorry oncie I have no idea why he's such a karen."

"All good, how bad can we be?"

"Exactly! How bad can we be?"

(Randy's just like me fr)