IM SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN 50 YEARS I WAS ON HOLIDAYS but I'm back so that's cool
Oncies pov:
How ba-a-a-d can I be? I'm just doing what comes naturally. Ok it's not time for the song yet, but it's fr a good song.
Anyways I decided to call my emotionally abu- emotionally supportive family to rub in their faces how successful I am. And I have a already in successful boyfri- buisness partner!
"Yo mum get ur bitch ass over here I'm kinda rich now."
And like 4 seconds later her and the other ugly asses get here.
"Oh for fuck sake you've got to be kidding me!" Says the Lorax.
"Shut the fuck up,"says randy.
Then another car pulls up and parks next to my mums van and a lady with short brown hair and another girl who looks like her but shorter comes out.
"Omg Sharon and Shelly! This is onci- I mean onceler," says randy.
"The guy from the Lorax!" Sharon says surprised.
Then all my family members come out of their van. Ew.
"Omg hey oncie, my very successful son who I most definitely love so much!" My mother says excitedly. What a fake ass hoe. How do u love me so much yet u name me 'onceler' and my goddamn brothers names are brett and Chett. Make it make sense.
"Ok this is randy, he's from South Park and he's my buisness partner."
"Omg from that town where if you go there you're gonna have yourself a time??"
"Yeah pretty much."
"Heyyyy, and this is my wife, Sharon and my daughter, Shelly. I have a son named Stan but idk where he is. You've already met him tho."
"Ok cool now let's cut some trees down and cause massive destruction while singing a upbeat song called how bad can I be."
"Ok bet," randy then gets an axe and cuts a tree down. "Everyone get to work, onceler I needa talk to u."
Randy and I then go inside by house tent thing and make out cus the author thinks that there hasn't been much romance between randy and i in a while.
"Omg this is gonna be so hard to pretend to be friends," I say nervously.
"Don't worry we'll be fine. All we have to do is like, idk pretend that we're straight. So like I'll be with my wife, idk where you'll be but you'll figure it out. Then when we are alone, we'll be as gay as we want."
"Omg that's cool."
Then this mf sticks his tongue in my mouth and we do the whole tongue to tongue thing.
"Smooch smooch."
"Smooch smooch"
"Mwah mwah"
"Mwah mwah"
(Idk how to end this chapter I'm sorry)
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Randy marsh x the onceler
FanfictionThis fanfic is satire which is why it's written poorly One day, randy marsh decides to upgrade his weed business by finding more types of weed to sell. He goes to the truffula forest and he meets the onceler, a tall, handsome young man. They start o...
