Chapter 3 - Revelations

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Edd blinked, processing the information I had just relayed to him in disbelief.

'I know it sounds harsh, but I need you to hear me out on this, it's-' I began, barely able to get a sentence out of me before Edd grabbed hold of my shoulders and shook me. 

'No! You can't be joking around with this!'  he said, genuine panic lacing his voice. 

'May I ask what makes you think I'm joking?' I started, taken aback by his abrupt reaction.

'I-' Edd stopped shaking me and looked to the side, thinking. 'I'm going to need Tom for this.'

I stared. 'Edd, I don't think that's such a good idea.' I started, watching Edd get up and walk across the room. 'Tom and I aren't exactly on speaking terms right now and-'

'No. You'll understand everything. Because you clearly don't right now. Understand anything, that is. You don't understand anything. You're dumb is what I'm saying. Anyways ...stay here. I'll be right back.' he said, shutting the door behind him, leaving me completely alone, sitting on the couch in his flat.

'Dumb?' I mumbled to myself, the cogs in my brain slowly turning as my face went red.

I don't really know how I expected the conversation to go. Maybe I was hoping for advice, perhaps I was hoping to get comfort, but this felt like the start of some strange operation. I did not understand why Tom of all people had to get involved. Firstly because of how pissed he seemed to be at me, and secondly, perhaps even more strangely, the pure fact that Tom was never involved with Matt and I's relationship. I don't think he liked either of us all that much.

I didn't like the fact that I didn't know what to expect, and my stomach twisted in a painful way. That seemed to be my body's natural reaction to any uncomfortable situation lately, and I hated it. 

Not too long of a while later, the door opened again, and my gaze shot at it quickly, just as it revealed a very unimpressed-looking Tom. But, to be fair, I think that's just his default state of being. 

After the door shut behind them again, he along with Edd walked over to me in a somber way, not speaking a word, as if this was some sort of intervention situation. Edd sat down on the couch at my right-hand side, while Tom took a nearby chair, turned it around, and sat down with his legs on either side of the headrest. 

'Why the fuck would you want to break up with Matt.'

This is the second time I've ever heard him drop the f-bomb, and the fact that it happened in 2 consecutive days wasn't a great sign. 

'Actually, I don't want to know. Whatever your reasoning is, it's stupid. You'll listen to what I have to say now, and just to be clear I'm not doing this because of you, I'm doing this because of Edd and to preserve whatever is left of my sanity.' 

I nodded, wide-eyed and stuck in a perpetual state of shock. 

'Let's get to it and start from the basics. The Matt paradox.'

'The Matt paradox?' I repeated, confused.

'The inherent undateability of Matt. I'm sure you've noticed, but Matt...'s face, at the very least is conventionally attractive.'

I blushed. Yes, I did notice that. I did not need to be reminded that Matt was extremely attractive. To me, anyway.

'Before he met you, Matt went on a lot of dates. But none of them lasted. Now, why might that be? 1, 2, 3, no answers, so listen up.' he spoke so quickly, my brain didn't even have time to register his question.

'Before Matt met you, people he wanted to date fell into 2 categories - one group rolled over for his superficial charm, went on a date, realized he's a total nutcase with the brain of a hamster, and promptly left. The other group is people who don't fall for superficial charm, so they never even cared in the first place. Are we following?'

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