Reunited [Matt x Reader] [Eddsworld]

Chapter 4 - Explanation

Night soon fell, and as he promised, he managed to reduce his self-worship collection greatly. I just so happened to be more than eager to take all of it into my own hands, which had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the more time I spent with him again, the more I realized how hopelessly attracted to him I really am. 

I stopped by inside my flat, where I deposited my newfound horde of Matt photos and pondered the appropriate thing to wear when you're sleeping next to your boyfriend for the first time in 5 years. I decided my low-cut cotton tanktop was somehow 'too revealing' due to a mixture of insecurity and paranoia, even tho we were both well into our adulthood, and instead opted for the safe option - a black vintage concert tee I inexplicably had since my childhood despite never attending any concert in my life. 

Pairing it with my go-to choice of black leggings, because even tho summer just ended, and it was hot as balls outside, I couldn't bring myself to go with my homey underwear-only option for the same reasons as I disqualified the tank top. 

I checked myself in the mirror one last time. You already bagged him, I don't think he cares about you looking like a sad sack of shit. I reassured myself and hopped back into Matt's with the backup key he so lovingly passed onto me.

I knocked on the inside of the door, to announce my arrival, as I looked for him. 'Matt?' I called out, as he suddenly popped into view and I yelped. 

'Jeez, you scared me. But...' I look up at him and melt a bit on the inside. 'You know...I could get used to being spooked like this.'

Matt was always high-energy. That's something I still remember about him from all those years ago. And I - well, I really wasn't. I would drag my feet behind my back, moving like a living corpse most of the day. But when I was with him, I felt like his energy was infectious. I couldn't help but suddenly feel alive, in a way that would be impossible without him. 

In a short while, after the surprise had subsided, I was confronted with the situation at hand, and suddenly overcome with nerves. Matt must have noticed my growing anxiety, so he reached over and caressed my cheek. 

'What's the matter?' he asked, his voice laced with a bit of concern. 

I shook my head. 'It's nothing. I'm just....' I squeeze my eyes shut. I can feel my hands going numb, as they often do when I'm in a situation that makes me feel strong emotions. It happens when I'm happy, but also when I'm sad. It's like my body is rejecting everything that makes me feel, in a desperate attempt to keep me neutral and dead at all times, the way I'm used to being. 

I reach over and take his hands into mine. His are warm and soft, and mine feel cold, sweaty, and dead.  'I don't know what's happening to me sometimes. I just...it's like my body hates me.' I brush my thumbs against the skin of your hands.

Matt's concerned expression softens a bit, as he intertwines his fingers with mine. 'I don't think it hates you. I think it's just having a natural reaction to being in my presence!' he boasts, and I roll my eyes a bit, smiling. 

I lean into him and rest my head against his shoulder, hoping that hiding my face like this would make this feel less embarrassing for me, but also for support, as I'm suddenly feeling weak in my knees. 

Matt makes a small sound as I fell against him, and his arms wrap around me tightly, as he nuzzles into my neck. His warmth makes me feel so safe and comfortable, but the fact that I haven't had the conversation about my 5-year absence yet looms over my head, like a dreadful cloud of misery. 

The warmth starts returning to my hands, as my mind and body calm down just a tiny bit, feeling like whatever I have to face right now will be okay, because he's there to support me. But that's also what makes it so scary. I know he'll be sympathetic to my troubles, and I know he'll comfort me, but I also know that it will weigh on him like it weighed on me for all these years. And I don't want that for him.