Mortal (Kenny x Reader)

7: Relapse

big tw for this chapter, but don't worry there will be no details on the actual action.

~~
The project was due today, and I have not been feeling myself. When I woke up this morning I felt completely empty and non existent. I didn't wanna go but I know that Kenny would be pissed at me if he had to stand up there and talk about chlamydia. Let me rephrase that, he would love talking about it, but would be pissed if he had to do it by himself.

I watched everybody do their presentations, Cartman  and Butters did theirs on aids, not surprising. Stan and Kyle did theirs on gonorrhea. Now im realizing that everybody in the class did STD's/STI's.

"Class why did you all decided to pick Sexual Transmitted Disease and Infections." Garrison said.

Next it was Kenny's and I's turn. We walked up and I signed into my Google account so I can access the slide. Everybody laughed at the title page because it was black and orange. And the title of it was similar to the Porn Hub title, "[Chlamy][dia]"

I wasn't talking, I couldn't speak. I wasn't here. Kenny realized and did all of the talking with his muffled speech. Occasionally glancing at me, probably waiting for me to speak or out of worry. I didn't know what he was saying, not because of his muffled speech, but because all of my senses felt gone except for my sight. But even though I could see, the sight I was seeing didn't feel real to me.

Kenny nudged me, letting me know that the presentation was over. I slowly made my way to my seat, Kenny was looking down on an empty page of notebook. Stan turned and looked at me for roughly 2 seconds and then turning right back.

~~
It was lunch and again I wasn't hungry, I felt empty but even with that sensation I wasn't hungry. I sat between Stan and Kyle, with Cartman, Kenny and Butters in front of us.

"Haha guys listen to this," Cartman pulled out his phone of these emo girls hurting themselves outside of the school that he took a video of.

I quickly looked away, taking deep shaky breaths. But I couldn't do it here. I stood up and fast walked to the girls bathroom, every second it was getting harder and harder to breathe and I could feel that I was about to cry.

I made it and leaned on the sink with my arms, doing the deep breathing technique but it wasn't calming me down. I covered my mouth with my hands and cried into them, trying to muffle my cries.

Eventually I calmed down and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were swollen, but the person in the mirror didn't look like me, I know it's me but it doesn't feel like me. I barely recognize myself. It felt like i'm in a dream and staring at myself in the mirror, because if you do that in a dream you won't recognize yourself. And that's exactly what's happening.

I ran some cool water on my face and dried it, then walking out.

While walking I ran into Stan standing just right outside of the bathroom.

"Look I know what Cartman did was stupid but-"

"No buts. Drop it, don't ever talk about it, don't tell your friends about it." I sternly said with a raised voice.

Stan got closer to me, not in an imitating way but in a comforting way. "Y/n...are you alright? Even in class you didn't look good, mentally."

"I don't want to talk about it." I shoved past him. He grabbed my arm, making me turn around.

"I'm worried, like actually worried."

I appreciate that he cares about me, but I'll feel vulnerable if I talk about what's going on. I want Colorado to be different than Alabama. I don't want to be like this in Colorado because that's one of the reasons why I was forced to live here, to get better.