Dai Li's Personal Spy

Chapter 17: "I don't think I've heard you laugh that much."

We lowered ourselves into the water, the boat sloshing in the broken-up sea slightly. The gaseous fog surrounded us, smelling like a thousand engines were burning at once. We followed behind the ship silently for a little while, slightly veering towards the North East in order to smoothly escape from the smoke cover.

Once we were out into the fresh open air and away from the large ship that wasn't conspicuously following our vessel, we could start speaking. Not that Zuko was much of a conversation starter. I guess I wasn't usually either, but I had gotten so comfortable those past few months with Zuko and Iroh.

The thought took me back to the looming reports I hadn't been writing. It was like I was back at the Fire Nation academy for girls again and was avoiding handing in my 'World Domination by Fire Lord Sozin report'. I swatted the nerve-racking feeling in my stomach, ignoring it once again. I hadn't seen or heard of any agents since Zuko told me about them all those months ago, and I hoped not to see any other surprise visitors.

I distracted myself by beginning to speak. "What was life like for you in the palace?" The simple question made him stiffen up like a metal beam. He glanced back at me, scarred face concealing that golden gaze. He sat for a moment, struggling to find the words.

"It was... nice when my mother was around. But it was... restrictive after she left." He didn't say much, and I felt like a bit of an idiot touching on a sensitive subject. He kept rowing, face changing slightly.

"What about you? What was your life like?" He asked me the same question, and I could see how Zuko struggled to answer it.

I pondered it for a moment. "Well, my biological and adoptive parents didn't love me all that much, so I focused on my training and studies a lot. But I always watched this one boy from afar. He was so above me, though, almost royalty. You could say I had a little crush on him." I drew out the last few parts, trying to get Zuko to catch the hint.

He furrowed his brows for a moment. "Who was this boy? Would I have known him?" He asked questioningly like I had offended him. A laugh bubbled in my stomach and tore its way up, and escaped from my throat. I covered my mouth, little giggles still escaping.

"What? What is it, Laina?" The use of my name sent a little butterfly in my stomach, but I stopped laughing and looked at him with a smile. He glared at me.

"It was you, Zuko. I think every girl in the Fire Nation had a crush on you," I sighed out. He stopped rowing for a moment, and his face turned red. I laughed even more, clutching my sides. I raised my head to see him looking like a bratty child. Like we were 13.

He glared at me, waiting for me to finish my laughter. "You should have seen your face, you were bright red!" I laughed.

"You just said that to get a reaction." He huffed out. I smiled brightly.

"Maybe, maybe not." I vaguely replied, looking up at the sky.

He stopped for a moment, looking like a thought had crossed his mind. The water sent echoes through the bottom of the boat, like dripping drops in a cave.

"I don't think I've heard you laugh that much." He stated plainly without warning. His uncle said the same thing to me. My laughing stopped at the words, smile faltering. I cursed myself in my head. Zuko had just reminded me of exactly what I shouldn't have been doing; Letting my guard down. I looked down at my feet, worn boots looking dull in the sun. He peered down at me.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked at the fall of my smile. I shook my head, looking up at him.

"No, no, it's not you. I just- I don't know... working on these ships, I feel I don't get to be myself, but around you, I feel the opposite." I admitted, words falling out of my mouth. He looked at me and then looked away. We sat in silence for the rest of the trip, letting silence carry our words across.