Doctor Who One Shots

10- Those scars (TW)

Words:1090
TW: Self-harm scars, depression

The Doctor finds out Y/n self-harms

After half a week of fighting bad aliens and saving a thousand innocent lives, the Doctor and Y/n decided to take some days off in the TARDIS. Y/n was in her room, reorganizing some of her things left out here and there. While cleaning she spotted an old book on the top shelf and jumped to reach for it. By doing so the book fell down and she saw that it was one of her old diaries. She sighed and opened it knowing well what she had written in it.

She read some pages of the book and started getting flashbacks about her worst times. How she didn't know how to cope, her family being shit to her and not having a best friend. It all came back. She felt like crying but she didn't, she closed the book and just stared at the wall, emotionless. She didn't want to think of that, not now while with the Doctor.

She still harmed herself but only when things got out of hand. She wanted to tell the Doctor but felt like he will only be sad because of her. Or worse, he might hate her. She just wanted peace and her peace was the Doctor. So to try and get her mind right she started walking towards the console room. She saw the Doctor writing something with his glasses on his nose. His nose is so dinky she thought and it made her smile.

"Hey Y/n, did you just wake up or what?", the Doctor asked. He smiled a little at her sleepy face and continued scribbling. "Oh I was just cleaning it's a mess, my room", Y/n replied and started walking around the console. The Doctor was staring at her the whole time Y/n was walking, something seemed different about her he noticed. He kept the book on the chair and tapped some buttons on the console.

He read something in his book and noticed that the buttons for the new setting on the console were too far from each other. "Y/n can you help me with this?", he removed his glasses and gestured towards the console. Y/n came at once. "Alright, what do I have to do?", Y/n asked. "Press this black button, keep pressing it and at the same time turn that plug anticlockwise", he explained.

Y/n pressed the button but when she stretched her hand and turned the plug, her sleeve went up because of how far the plug was. Also she's not that tall. The Doctor was checking if Y/n was doing it right and that's when he saw her hand. His heart ached when he saw the scars on her wrist, it utterly pained him. The TARDIS hummed, indicating that the new setting was now done but the Doctor...

"Y/n? What's on your hand?", he questioned with a worried look on his face. Y/n frowned and checked her hands and clothes. She didn't know that the Doctor had seen her scars so she was clueless. "What?", she asked back. The Doctor was concerned so he asked again, "Y/n...those scars", he whispered. "Oh that, yes I... fell that day. You know how I fall into places it's nothing serious", Y/n lied smoothly, avoiding eye contact hoping the Doctor leaves the topic.

"Y/n...talk to me, I will listen...please", he said almost tearing up. Y/n was facing her head down and when she caught up with the Doctor's eyes, she felt so uneasy for making him sad. He kept hold of her eyes, slowly walking near her as he took her arm. He just stood there holding her arm still looking in her eyes asking her to empty her heart into his.

Y/n sighed and answered, "I've been through a lot, I don't know what I did wrong. My family isn't nice to me, they never understand. I don't have a best friend or a lover", she paused and then spoke again, "I'm depressed and anxious at the same time, it's hard and I don't know how to cope. I've done everything to make them happy but I'm always the problem, it gets too much. So I hurt myself because I don't think anyone cares. No one ever actually did and I don't know what to do."

The Doctor was crushed. He never imagined his Y/n going through so many problems alone. He knows exactly what loneliness is like and that made more impact on his hearts. He hugged her at once hoping to drain her of her pain if possible. Y/n hugged him so tightly like she was going to fly out of the TARDIS if she ever let him go.

"Why didn't you tell me? You should know I do care about you Y/n and so does all the people and aliens and planets you have saved", the Doctor expressed. Y/n tensed up a little, the Doctor noticed and rubbed her back to calm her down. He then brought her to the stairs and sat her down.

Y/n wasn't crying, she just had a sorrowful look on her face. "You are important Y/n. If not for them then for me and this universe you love so much. Don't hurt yourself like this. I can't see you in such pain Y/n. If you hurt yourself, you hurt me. We don't want that do we?", the Doctor stated.

Y/n was about to say something but the Doctor intervened, "Promise me, if you ever feel such a way you will come to me, please promise me that", he held out his hand wanting Y/n to listen to him. She smiled and put her hand in his accepting his vow.

"My life has become better after meeting you and you should know that I'm trying to be better... I promise that I'll do my best", she said as she held his hand in the same way Snape does with Draco's mum when they are making the unbreakable vow.

"I will", Y/n says. The Doctor realises what she is doing and smiles a bit. Y/n speaks again now mimicking Snape's voice,
"I will", the Doctor laughs at this and then nods in approval. "Really Y/n, Harry Potter?", he asks smiling.
Y/n smiles back and says,
"Oh I just wanted to see you smile."