Doctor Who One Shots

11- You have me now (TW)

Words: 1556
TW: depression

Y/n falls unconscious and the Doctor is worried

The Doctor and Y/n had decided to take a day off. They were currently on Earth, in the normal timeline. The Doctor was in the TARDIS repairing some of the cables that were fried from their last trip. It was parked near the library where Y/n used to work at and was visible from her apartment too.

"Doctor, I'm going to the library. Be right back", Y/n said and existed the TARDIS. "See ya!", the Doctor exclaimed with his head still inside the wires. Y/n made her way to the library and greeted Joan, the librarian who was radiant just like any other day.

"Your mother came asking for you Y/n", Joan said as she closed the book she was reading. Y/n frowned. "Why?", Y/n asked, to which Joan instantly assured, "I think you know why. I didn't tell her anything darling, don't worry".

Y/n thought about it for a moment and nodded. "Thank you Joan but...I really don't know what to do", Y/n expressed as her face tensed. "Did she ask anything else?", she continued. Joan removed her glasses and slowly pulled Y/n to sit with her. Y/n didn't get a good feeling about this.

"She did tell me something", Joan spoke. She held Y/n's shoulders before continuing, "and I don't know how to say it to you", she sighed. Y/n saw how her eyes were full of sadness and she wasn't liking it. "Tell me, I can handle it", Y/n lied to which Joan gave a weak smile. She took Y/n's hands in hers as she revealed.

"Your mother. She came here not to check on you but to say that...she hates you. She left you a letter. Take my advice and don't read it because by the look on her face...I don't think you'll get any good from it darling", Joan explained. She removed her hand from Y/n's and fetched the letter.

"Y/n, I don't know what's written in this letter but promise me that you will be alright", Joan spoke as she handed her the letter. Joan's eyes were glassy with tears and that said a lot about what Y/n's mother might have said to her and it pained Y/n.

She stood up and straightened herself. "Don't worry Joan. I'm your strong girl remember?", Y/n reminded her. Joan nodded with a weak smile. They both have known each other for a long time and that's why Joan was sad. Because she knew what Y/n's mother was like and she didn'tlike it.

Y/n hugged Joan and left the library. She saw the TARDIS nearby but decided to go to her apartment. She didn't want to read the letter in front of the Doctor. Yes he knew about Y/n's problematic life but at the moment, she didn't want him to worry.

Y/n reached her place and quickly closed the door. Her eyes were already watering. She inhaled sharply and braced herself as she read:

'Y/n Y/l/n, the biggest disappointment of my life. You always argued and never agreed with me. You are the worst daughter anyone could ever have in this world, such a waste. This is my last letter to you. I don't even want to see your stupid face again. You thought writing was a career. Grow up! You were supposed to do whatever I told you but you left like a coward. You are never going to be successful as you never listened to me. Rot in hell'
__________

That was it. This broke her completely. After all the things she did for her mother and her family, they never loved her. She sacrificed her own dreams to fulfill theirs but it wasn't enough. All those years she lived in emotional torture and pain, she always hated herself and no one told her not to. And when she finally achieved something, she was called wrong.

Y/n's body shook as she sobbed uncontrollably. She crumpled the letter in her hand and fell on her knees as she cried hopelessly. She realised that even after doing everything for them, it meant absolutely nothing. She whimpered and whined as she hid her face in her hands.

Y/n had depression from the beginning but she never told anyone, never seeked help and always bottled up. No one understood her until the Doctor came into her life. She was planning to kill herself the same night she met him. He showed her a path to the wonders of the universe and for the first time in her life she felt that living really mattered.

But now, it didn't. Her mother's words have always clouded her thoughts and right now they cut through all the happy memories she had. She cried so much that her heart started hurting. She clutched her hand on her chest and tried to control her breathing. She had to tell the Doctor but she was in no sense of even walking.

Y/n gathered up some strength and stood up with the table's support. She weakly walked out of her apartment still holding her chest. It almost looked like she was having a heart attack but as she walked further, the pain became lesser but the thoughts didn't.

Y/n somehow made it to the TARDIS and slowly went inside. She sighed as she thought about how to explain it to him. The crumpled up letter was also with her if she can't explain with words. "There you are! I was wondering where you went. Did you read the whole library or what?", the Doctor ranted as soon as he saw Y/n.

He was standing on top of the stairs holding some kind of a device. He couldn't place the look on Y/n's face, she looked blank. Her eyes were unfocused and she wad staring into space. But before he could do anything, Y/n's eyes shut and she fell. "Y/n!" The Doctor shouted as he ran to her.

He instantly crouched down and placed her head in his palm. "Y/n? Hey Y/n? Can you hear me? Please, Y/n?", the Doctor kept on asking and shaking her but she didn't respond. A moment she was in the library and the next she has fainted. How? What happened that he doesn't know.

"Y/n? Please say something", he panicked as he hastily took her pulse. It was terribly slow for humans. He immediately took out his sonic and scanned. Seeing hypoxia as a result his hearts skipped a beat. He saw how Y/n's heart rate was slowing and her skin was turning slightly blue.

The Doctor then noticed Y/n's tear stained cheeks and thought what happened so bad that it led her to almost have a heart attack. He needed to save her now. He sprinted inside and returned with an oxygen supply mask. He quickly placed it on her allowing oxygen to flow in her.

It was something he got from an advanced planet but never thought he'd make use like this. He was worried sick. When he lifted her arm to rub, he noticed a crumpled paper in her hand. He straightened it out and read it and what he saw, broke his hearts even more. Was this the reason Y/n almost lost to her heart?

The Doctor was pulled out of his thoughts as Y/n gasped on air. He slowly lifted her back and kept her stable. He threw the paper away for now and rubbed Y/n's arms. It enraged him that someone had the audacity to say such things to his Y/n. And look at what happened. He was sure this happened because of the stupid letter.

Y/n's breathing was back to normal but her chest still ached. She pressed it again as she crouched. "Y/n! Oh Y/n! You're ok!", the Doctor hugged her tightly making Y/n wince in pain. "Oh I'm so sorry. Where does it hurt? You alright?", he asked in concern as he searched for her eyes. He noticed her clutching her chest and understood.

When she made contact with his, he noticed how her eyes were red and tired. It looked like her thoughts were bleeding out from her eyes. Her expression was the most sad he had ever seen. It showed pain. Without any energy to even exist, her head falls on his shoulder as he strokes her head.

"Y/n, you're going to be alright. You have me now, don't worry. Please, I don't know what I am without you Y/n. Promise me you'll tell me everything, no matter how hard. I can't see you this way", the Doctor whispered as his eyes mirrored Y/n's.

Y/n didn't say anything but instead she loosely hugged him back indicating that she was present. "No one can hurt you while I'm here", the Doctor promised as he gently placed a kiss on her head which was burning up. He noticed it but didn't want to rush at the moment. They stayed like that for a while until Y/n tiredly fell asleep.