This is about our beloved boy Keefe
Keefe, motioning to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts! I still can't find a boo.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: Schrödinger's cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that's both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe, playing a VR game: You see, that's the thing. It PROBABLY is fine. It's PROBABLY 100% okay. There are PROBABLY no spiders in this headset.
Keefe: BUT- as you may be able to relate to- If you find a spider in your headset, and then have to put that headset on to play video games...
Keefe: YoU jUsT dOnT gEt ToO cOMfOrTaBlE.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: I'm sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don't know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It's rude
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: Whoever insulted my hair should run, because now I'm fucking pissed.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'
Keefe: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: My life isn't as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: Died and came back as a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: If you can't beat them, have better hair than them
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year... is me. That's right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: I've come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: bitches b like "im baby" but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I'm bitches
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: Yeah, I'll smoke a joint tonight, but let's not get too crazy.*The gang proceeds to get arrested for blocking the road in large traffic cone costumes*
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can't 'legally' be a lawyer if your license is 'cut out of a cereal box'.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: I think my guardian angel drinks.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut?
Keefe: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you're doing it all wrong.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Keefe: I'd like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/337592254-288-k794790.jpg)
YOU ARE READING
•*⁀➷ 𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓴𝓵𝓸𝓻𝓮 : 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖 𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚚𝚞𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜
Random➸ 𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓻𝓮𝔀 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭 𝓶𝔂 𝓼𝓬𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓑𝓾𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓘'𝓶 𝓫𝓵𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓲𝓷' welcome! in this nami will be entertaining you with different fandoms incorrect quotes, requests are open! (tags will be edited!)