Secrets and Stolen Kisses

13

m a d e l y n

All week, I'd had an average of four hours of sleep every night. It wouldn't be all too worrying for some, but my usual average was seven.

After getting home from the charity ball, I spent all night on my bed, crying until my eyes got all puffy and I exhausted myself to sleep. That was about three in the morning.

On Sunday, I couldn't show myself to anyone because of how red and puffy my eyes were. I chose to throw some shades on and go to the mall alone so I could be by myself. My eyes had returned to pretty much normal by the time I got home, and nobody noticed at dinner.

I stayed up crying again that night but remembered to splash my face with cold water before bed so my eyes wouldn't end up so puffy the next day.

Monday and Tuesday were the same, going to school and forcing myself to sit beside Nate so nothing seemed out of the ordinary. It wasn't that I felt awkward around him; it was only that every time I saw him, I wanted to burst into tears again and let him hold me in his arms.

I submitted my drawing of him during art class too. Mr. Joba looked at me really weird when I handed the paper to him with the drawing facing downward and the blank side up. He did eventually look at it, and he told me it was my best one yet.

At night, it was the same as it had been the two days before. Tears never left my cheeks, they just flowed constantly until I was so tired I couldn't cry anymore.

On Wednesday, things changed. I had an AP Chem test to study for, so I skipped lunch and stayed at the library to get some quiet. The only time I saw Nate was after school when he walked with Archer to the parking lot.

That night, I just went to bed. I was exhausted from the days prior and couldn't find any more tears left to cry.

I sat beside Nate in English on Thursday. I distracted myself with the lesson and only focused on my food at lunch. He continued to talk to his friends at the table as if nothing happened, just like I'd told him; we'd be just like we were before everything.

At night, I fell asleep to his voice. He had called me before bed to ask for help with something for school. It was only when I woke up on Friday morning that I realized I had fallen asleep on him while he told me something about basketball.

My heart hurt on Friday. It hurt more than usual. I had no idea why, maybe it was because it was almost a week already since Nate and I broke up and the truth finally set in.

Laying in bed that night, tears formed in my eyes, but I just took a deep breath.

"Not tonight," I told myself. "The party's tomorrow. You have to look your best, Madelyn."

With that, I went to bed.

~~~

Saturday. It had officially been a week, but the days felt as if they blurred together into one giant mess.

I couldn't help but notice that I did my hair the same way I did it for the ball. The only difference this time were the silver butterfly clips I had pinned on. I had butterfly earrings too.

There was a lot of glitter on my face. I figured that if I was going to be a fairy for Halloween, I would have to do sparkly makeup. I took forever perfecting my eyeliner. My eyeshadow was a glittery lavender to match my lilac dress, and I had a ton of highlighter on. My lips were equally as glossy.

The flowy corset dress was hanging in my closet when I went to get it and put it on. I'd had it in there for a long time with no idea where and when to use it. Halloween was it, apparently.