IN HER EYES. || OMINIS GAUNT X CLARA DIGGORY FANFIC. | HL REIMAGINED

CHAPTER X: IN MY BLOOD

It had been nearly a month since we'd lost our daughter and I was sure that I was slipping off towards a depression. Much the same for Ominis. Neither of us had been prepared for this and especially not for the aftermath of it. The stress surrounding myself becoming a mother for the second time and with Sebastian hollering in into the greenhouse during Ominis' proposal, it... It had led to the loss of our child.

And I felt guilty towards Ominis.
Guilty that I had allowed myself to sink so low as to give in to temptation with Sebastian, that I had given him hope and in return, hurt Ominis in a way that was beyond repair. I didn't know how to live with myself anymore, especially now that I had taken his daughter away as well. It's all he'd ever wanted, children of his own. And though Amos was his son, he also wasn't.

Amos had been at Poppy's and Amit's place; Amit whom had postponed his travels so we could grieve in peace. We'd spoken to Amos already about the loss of our daughter and his little sister, to which he'd responded that it was alright. That one day, he'd see her in heaven and play with her forever there. The words had cut me so deep that I was bedridden, I couldn't get up and I was a bawling mess during most of the day. Ominis had taken leave from Hogwarts and his classes had been suspended until the end of the year, leaving the students whom had Muggle Studies in their curriculum, to self study.

I'd felt guilty towards everyone, every single soul for not being the rock, the pillar they'd once known. And though Poppy had assured me that it was alright, that I needed time to grieve and that she was more than alright with Amos staying with them for the time being, it sure wasn't alright with me.

Currently, I was laying in Ominis' arms, bawling my eyes out about the whole ordeal. Amos' birthday was closing in on us and I didn't know how we were to celebrate such an event at this time. But Ominis' fingertips sliding through my curls had me soothed and settled, comforted. "She would've been the brightest little girl, just like you," he voiced and I could feel the coil in my stomach; Pure pain was coursing through my entire being when he'd said that and I couldn't help but feel myself beginning to cry again.

Lips were pressed to my forehead and I knew that he was trying to comfort me, but I didn't know whether or not I could be consoled. Whether or not I'd ever overcome this. How terrible a mother I must seem to everyone around us, sending my child off to temporarily live with my best friend and her husband, with their young child.

"Clara, look at me," Ominis then voiced and I bit my lip, looking up at the man I loved more than anything in the world and the person I'd hurt beyond repair as well. His eyes were fixated on me, realising that he could see me and I shook my head. "You... How can you love me, still?" I questioned in nothing above a whisper and Ominis' hands cupped my face, shushing me as if I'd just said something scandalous. "We will be alright." He whispered and then pressed his lips to mine.

I let him, though I was numb to the touch. I couldn't allow myself to feel anything but sorrow and grief and I wasn't sure how I'd be able to overcome this ever. And though Ominis would always be there to catch me when I fell, I couldn't help but feel completely destroyed. All life had been drained from my body, not sure whether or not I wanted to do even remotely that: Live.

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As I headed on down the stairs, I noticed that Ominis was holding something in his hands; A letter. And I recognised that particular type of parchment anywhere, the snowy white with the green specks all across it. It was the parchment the Gaunts always used in their correspondence. I stood frozen at the bottom of the stairs, not sure what to say to Ominis as he looked over at me, worry sprawled out all across his face. "They know about the miscarriage," he whispered, shaking his head and pushing himself away from where he'd been standing at the counter tops.