WTTSH/WTTT book IG (wait why is it all california-)

more incorrect quotes

Sorry for no updates so here's more incorrect quotes!
school has gotten in the way. But I'm on a week break so I can update more.

NY: A fistfight CAN be romantic.

Florida: Plants are basically the ideal friends. They are quiet, friendly, and easy to please. All they need is a little water and fresh earth, and they are perfectly happy to lie there all day in the sun. And they don't make increasingly awful life choices, or hide their relationships. They have never, as far as I know, fucked a bee.

Florida: How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way?
Cal: Excuse me Mx. Would you give me the honours of indulging in sexual activities with you?
GOV: What the fuck is wrong with you two?

LA: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...
Florida: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?
LA: Holy moly-

GOV: What's your body count?
Florida: Do you mean sex or murder?

LA: Look, do I consider myself attractive? Yes. But would I have sex with my clone? Also yes.

NY: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.
Cal: Wow, I've gotta hear this.
NY: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.
Cal: You forgot pride.
NY: No, I'm pretty proud of this.

Florida: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You're the faster one.
LA: Erm... it's nice see your smile when you win!
*later*
Florida: They're probably just staring at my ass, aren't they.
NY: Yeah, probably.

Cal: I feel like doing something stupid.
Texas: I'm stupid, do me.

NY, turning to Cal: Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.

Cal: I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.

GOV, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?
Texas: Yeah, sure.
*A few minutes later*
Texas: Here you go.
GOV:
Texas:
Cal: Why am I here?

NY: Florida, you'll be working with Cal and GOV.
Florida: Alright! My fantasy threesome!
Everyone else: *blank stares*
Florida: ...Of people on a team.

Florida: Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."

Cal: Isn't it weird that we can't ride any other animal except horses. Like if horses weren't a thing, humans would be fucked cause we couldn't ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn't really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses.
LA: Elephants.
Cal: Blocked.
Florida: Camels.
Cal: Extra blocked.
GOV: Donkeys.
Cal: Ultra blocked.
NY: That dick.
Cal: ...Followed.

Cal: *sucking on a popsicle*
NY: Pfft, you practicing for when Texas gets here?
Cal: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle*
NY: *Concern*
(nah but my sensitive teeth could never)

Florida: I am so horny and angry all the time.

Cal: Wow, Texas, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.
Texas: We literally slept together yesterday.
Cal: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.