Fame | A Tomdaya Romance

Chapter 5

Then

Fuck me, I am exhausted. The amount of information that they are expecting me to retain is insane, and the amount of things that they are making me focus on is surprising. We're talking my social media, who I talk to, what I say - what I'll have to do, what I cant do. I've just come out of my fifth session on personal PR so far, to say I'm a bit shocked is an understatement.

They point blank asked me who Harriet was, noticing her comment on my most recent post - they then presented me with what they found out about Harriet so far. It was a way of showing me what the media would be able to find out in just a few clicks. In the space of thirty seconds they were telling me who Harriet had dated before, the tweets that they think she'd need to delete immediately - and how well they think she comes across as the potential partner of someone like me.

Not well apparently. We haven't got a big enough history for people to find it endearing and cute, as far as they can tell - and as is the truth, she's only just started to reciprocate the feelings. I'd be lying if it wasn't a harsh smack in the face of reality - especially with how blunt they delivered the message.

"We're thinking that it suits the film better for you to be single, for there to be little inklings of something between you and your co-stars - that's what sells these films" Kira the PR woman said it so casually that I suddenly forgot that it was my life we were talking about, as if it were just another part of the movie.

"And your brothers" she added later on, the concept that my brothers were going to be effected by this annoys me. She gave me a folder of photos, tweets and social posts that would need to be taken down, to avoid any potential controversy. As if teenage boys can't have a history of swear words or trying to be cool by drinking at the park. Is that really not allowed? You're not allowed to have been a boy who once got drunk at a park with the girls from the rival school?

Mum walks in, she's been shopping all day and it's clear the moment I see her face that she is feeling a lot better than I am. "Oh darling you look tired" is the first thing she says to me. "Today was intense" I reply, "Mum, I think I underestimated what I was getting into" I add. She frowns, walking to sit down on the sofa next to me, "What do you mean darling?"

I explain the situation, skipping the part about Harriet to focus more on me, my brothers and even her and Dad's social media too. Handing her the portfolio of troublesome information they have discovered I see her frown, the realisation is hitting her too apparently. Yeah this fucking sucks, but I get to play my childhood hero.

"I mean I did expect something, but not this much" are the first words she utters as she fingers through all of the paperwork, and there is a lot of it. "If it's too much Tom, you can walk away - you know that right?" she is so sincere, she really means it too, bless her - as if she doesn't realise that it's not that easy. "Mum I had to sign a contract, if I walk away it's going to cost millions" I reply. Four million to be exact. I don't have four million.

I expected to find this week the best of my life, I really did. Instead, I've only managed to go out to dinner with Mum once and the rest of the time I've been in MCU training, fame training - I've spoken to three different therapists already. I feel like it's because they can already tell I'm not cut out for the fame thing, despite the fact that it is all I have ever wanted.

Now

The fact that she hasn't answered my question concerns me. Is it really just a glimmer of hope to think that we can be fixed? That the media hasn't broke us alongside everything else too?

I watch as she figures out what she is going to say next - her mouth is moving I am sure when the door between the suites opens and Paul, our handler, walks in. He seems surprised to see us sitting on the floor, and I wonder whether it's obvious to him that I've been crying.

"Oh there you are Zendaya, Law needs you for fittings - and I need you both for a media session in an hour. The press are asking too similar questions to one another, we need to pivot tomorrow - I've already sent out completely new press briefing packs out that I need to train you on" he looks tired too, I never really think about how they feel, the people that have to follow us around in the shadows.

She gets up and smiles at him, she's leaving my question unanswered - burning a firework inside me ready to go off. "Law has an event later, I'll go now and sort out the outfits - see you in a bit" she turns to me, what she was going to say isn't obvious at all. My sanity is in the balance here.

Paul looks at me again on the floor as she brushes past him, "You okay?". I nod, "Yeah, yeah - just tired you know?". It looks like he wants to say something else to me, instead he looks at his watch and says, "Okay so 8:30 next door?". I nod.

I'm contemplating having another gin to tide the time, but I do need to go to the gym and I don't want to be drunk when I workout. I've got another one of these films to do in literally 3 months time and I'm going to have to be fucking fit for. I chose my phone instead, unlocking it to see a message from Z at the top of my screen.

'I could'

It's all it takes for me to smile my first true smile in what feels like months.

Then

For the first time since I got here, I'm finally reminded why I want to do this. I just got to meet some of my idols, got to hang out with them whilst they go through media training for the next movie they're about to promote. Robert, the RDJ, took me aside and gave me some advice - and it was all I needed to hear to remind me that I'm about to do something that's so fucking cool. Any chance to spend time with these legends, it's worth a bit of a change in the personal life - surely?

And I'm about to do some acting, remind myself why I got this gig in the first place, show me what I am going to be looking forward to. "So Tom, we're screen testing you with the three main characters okay?" the blonde woman has told me her name three times and I still cant remember it so I'm just hoping that I never have to say it. "Yes" I'm enthusiastic now, I've learnt all the lines I need for each of the scenes and I'm genuinely excited about it. I've never done screen tests before, I've always just had castmates - I've never been important enough to have to screen test for them.

I can tell Mum knows I'm feeling better from the look in her eyes, the photographs she keeps taking of me when she thinks I'm not looking. This is a big thing - I'm about to meet people that are greatly going to influence my life - or at least I think so. If this goes the way that they think it will, we could be making these movies for the next six years. That thought is crazy.

It's a good thing that I'm an actor because I can feel my hand shaking as I walk towards the little room, briefly taking a look to my right where I can see a room full of different people all clearly about to come in and sit across from me. I try not to react at the one that catches my eyes, she is unbelievable.

I may have to act my best with her.