Fame | A Tomdaya Romance

Chapter 24

Now

I know one day I will yearn for these days, the ones that have me acting by her side all day and cuddled up next to her at night. That allow me to live away from screens and find moments within the confines of these walls that make me feel alive even when I am exhausted.

That's one of the things I wasn't prepared for in this type of film making - I've not once heard anyone complain about the intensity of it all - not a single person. Like we've all signed some type of agreement that we put making a movie with heart before our personal selves. When our alarm goes at 3am or 4am - neither of us flitch, or say anything about the fact that we only got in at 9pm the night before.

I mean, we're only two weeks in - so perhaps we're still settling in - but so far so good. And I mean good - like seriously good - Zendaya is a goddess. Every day I fall deeper and deeper in love with her and I worry that everyone that sees us together realises it. Jacob told me to stop worrying about it, weirdly enough he and I have gotten even closer now that Z and I are together - like we're spending more bro time almost because I'm aware of him feeling left out. It's nice to have that, to have him like it used to be - back when we first moved in, kids let loose on our own.

"I get the sense if I wasn't here right now you'd be scribbling in your book" Zendaya speaks softly from her spot in the corner, where shes taken to spending twenty or so minutes reading each evening, "what's on your mind?"

Sometimes when I'm talking to her, or she's asking me questions like this - it is a reminder that she has been on the right side of therapy since she was just a tween. The woman knows her mind and I respect her ability to speak it. "I was just thinking about, you know - well, I'm a bit worried that everyone is going to realise that - you know, and I don't know" I speak, but I'm not sure I'm making sense. Something about her eloquence makes me feel like the opposite sometimes.

She laughs, putting the book down to walk over and sit on my lap. "Tom - the set is the most shut down from the world set an actor could ever walk onto - I mean they literally lock everyones phones up in lockers before you even get in the building. I'm not afraid of a bit of talk from extras - the talks going to happen regardless of you looking at me or not. Amy has been so supportive of us, even if she hasn't actually spoken to us about it - you know?"

I laugh, in typical Amy style she sent over dinner to us one night, but just to Z and I when she knew Jacob was out with his brother - her simple message told us she knew, but made it clear that the studio didn't need to until we wanted it to. We both appreciated that, telling Marvel - quite frankly is something both of us are scared of.

"We could wait" I speak after a few moments, "keep everything totally private just to us until our contractual obligations are over, not give Marvel or the studios the option of playing a part?"

Despite the fact that we've skipped ahead in conversation, I know she understands what I'm talking about - both of our managers have had some pretty frank conversations with us about their concerns in additional NDA's or control that we'd have to give away if we came out as a couple during the franchise.

"I don't want to not be able to do things outside of filming though, like we've been invited to Shelby's wedding - I would want to be able to attend that Tom, with you" she speaks softly, her hand is stroking my hair and I'm so tired that if I stopped talking I would happily fall asleep like this.

"What if we do that, but refuse to talk about it?"

"I guess so, but what if they talk to us about it?"

She's right, they would bring it up the moment they saw photos. I'm confident though that we could make it work, "What if our managers field the conversation, refuse to let it get to a point where they can bring it into contracts?"

It's hard to focus on that idea when she's looking at me like this, all eyelashes and lips - did I mention how distracting I find her lips? Even with two weeks of opportunities to kiss them, I am a man starved. As if, being back here in this bedroom - the one that I was deprived for two films worth of kisses on, of lying in the bed with her simply by my side - makes it hard for me to focus on anything else.

"I think I've lost you haven't I?" she giggles, she's noticed my change of mood and my eye gaze. I nod simply, "Lost" is all I can mutter, leaning in to kiss her.

Really, I feel found.