Fame | A Tomdaya Romance

Chapter 19

Then

I'm genuinely so excited for the press tour, because in one week the filming ends and we'll all go back to living our own lives again for a few months. Even with the few trips my brothers, my parents and Haz have come on - they haven't been enough to take me out of this new world that I live in.

A world in in which I get to battle in the day, and spend the evening with the girl of my dreams. And then there's Jacob, honestly - he is a fantastic guy - a real friend, he has made this whole experience one hundred times better.

We're all exhausted, we're all ready for a bit of a break, I know that. But I would take exhaustion for a few more weeks of the bubble. Oh fuck it, let's be honest - I'd take a few more weeks of exhaustion for more time with Zendaya.

The amount of times I've questioned whether we are going there over the last few months, the amount of times I've thought perhaps we were - but haven't. God my showers are getting longer and longer as the days pass.

And yet I won't give up our evening chats, which now that Rosie's gone - sometimes take place by the pool, sometimes take place in my room, sometimes in hers. But they take place at least every other night now.

I'm surprised we still have stuff to talk about, but we always do.

Maybe I need a break, maybe a break would be healthy for me - because if after all this time together, all the nights, everything - we haven't moved on from friends, maybe we never will. Maybe I need the chance to take a step back and see us for what we are - what we will always be. Take a step back and get over it, move on.

But I don't want to.

Now

I remember being so obsessed with the filming bubble back in the day, and now i've spent a few days with Z and my family - I realised that this is the bubble that I'd choose if I had the chance. I have had some of the best days of my life - I'm not even joking. In this house, with her - with them, with Haz and some of my friends.

Like we're both just normal people again, getting drunk (but for the right reasons), dancing in the living room to loud music, having movie nights - taking pictures to remember it all.

The only difference is that those pictures cant go anywhere, and my friends have to come here - and she's leaving tomorrow. I know I have to tell her before she goes, I have to. My heart is bursting from the feelings that being with her here is giving me. I thought the Chalet was perfect, this has just taken over that - only just - and I think she feels the same.

I thought her last night would be best spent alone, despite the fact that the house now feels massive and quiet with just the two of us. I've planned it all out, how this is going to go - and for the first time in my real life I wish there was a director telling me how best to do it, to cue me in and to help me with the dialogue.

Instead, I'm piecing how I want the evening to go from my love of old classic Rom-Coms and the hope that I've spent enough time around Americans to be able to say what I want. I'm now rehearsing the start of it in my head as I finish up cooking dinner, she'll be back down any minute - and then I have to go into overdrive.

I'm not even sure I like the chicken recipe I'm cooking but I was so fucking nervous earlier that I choose one that seemed non-fuck-up-able and backed myself. I've popped a nice bottle of her favourite Rose in the fridge and the potatoes are roasting. Just like I am to be honest, I'm fucking boiling - partly due to the kitchen heat and partly due to stress. I feel like I'm setting up a proposal when all I am doing is telling her I love her.

Maybe I should just propose at the same time, get it all out in one go. I would marry her in a heart-beat, I know that for sure. I'm just not sure she's there yet.

"Darling" she shocks me by entering the room when I hadn't heard her approaching, she looks glorious in a silk top and figure hugging jeans. "Is the food nearly ready?" she's putting on an English accent and is smiling like a Cheshire cat. "Ten minutes I'd say" I reply, "shall we have a glass whilst we wait? I'll stand here so I can keep an eye on it".

"Sounds good" her voice is bright and she looks more at home here than anywhere I've ever been with her before. I wonder if she feels my nerves as I set the glasses out and pour us both a glass, because I'm genuinely petrified.

"Tom this has been the most wonderful few days" she's started, which surprises me, "so cheers, thank you - I honestly think this has shown me just how wonderful we are as a pair". I agree, it's been our first chance to be a couple around other people and it's been just as easy as breathing. "Oh darling, it has been the best" I reply, "and everything from this past two weeks has really shown me how right we are for one another if I'm honest".

It's a start. Do I do it now? Just go for it? Or should I wait until dinner, or after dinner? My plans already out of the window.

We clink glasses and the look in her eye tells me that I should just do it now. "I mean I kind of have known that for a very long time, truth be told" I can hear the nerves in my own voice, "and if I had bigger guts I would have done this ages ago, but maybe now you are ready to hear it" I pause for a moment, "Zendaya, I love you".

My hand is shaking a little bit and I'm holding my breath, I'm staring at the woman of my dreams and I'm watching the tears fall from her eyes. Are tears a good thing?

"I love you too" are the words that leave her mouth after a few moments, tears streaming down her face for a reason I honestly don't know. I put my glass down, take hers out of her hand and pull her up off the chair for a kiss, leaning in for a hug afterwards. I've never said I love you before, this is a first for me - and I can feel it filling my body with the understanding that she does too.

I place my hands to wipe away her tears, "Why are you crying?" my voice is basically a whisper, I so don't want this moment to end. "Because I'm happy, and it's taken us ages to get here but now we're here it's just so special" she whispers back, "and this is so romantic". I smile at her, her soppy side is something so rare that I feel like I've seen this only a handful of times in all of the now years that I have known her.

"I will always regret not acting on my feelings sooner" I say softly, "but to be here, to have now - I'll stop living with those regrets". Her eyes pull me in, "I wish I'd have, too, for the record - but I agree, what's the point?"

I lean back in for a kiss.

She wishes she had too.

She loves me.