I tried to be happy for Jania but i couldn't. I love her and i know Dre and Kaleef weren't the niggas for her. I wish i could speak to my parents about how i feel but they don't get me. My mother always tryna force a skirt on me and my father wish i would've went to law school and married his best friends son Nathan. I've known that i was gay since the age of 12. I have always been into women but never really felt comfortable with saying it until i hit my teens. I started dating my first girlfriend Nicole. We dated for three years then she cheated on me and had a baby,then i started dating Jackie, Kyonna and finally Jania. Jania i were messing around our whole junior year of high school but secretly. She was the first girl that i felt comfortable telling everything. My folks would think we were just having sleepovers but we would fuck around. I sat in the living room scrolling through facebook when i saw a picture of Jania hugging Kaleef on the red carpet. She was dressed in a red glittery dress and had a red sew in. Jania has always been beautiful. I could see why Dre and Kaleef loved her . She was really that bitch. Anger filled inside of me but i tried to hide it. She graduated college 3 years ago with my help and didn' even thank me. She would pay me $100 here and there for essays and $200 for tests but stopped fuckin me when she started talking to Dre. I scrolled down and saw a proposal picture of Jania and Kaleef. Hot tears fell from my eyes and i banged my fist against the side of the couch.
"Shanae...we have a dinner tonight. I need you to dress nice."My mother said walking in and handing me a yellow dress.
"Mom..i'm not wearing this."I said flinging it aside.
"Why? Whats wrong with it?"She asked me.
"When is the last time you've seen me where a dress mom? I am gay...I don't like wearing dresses, i wear jeans, sweatpants, maybe even dress pants but a skirt or dress i would never."I said with a disgusted look on my face.
"You are the only child that gives me problems. Naomi is getting her life together , Keisha now has her own place and doing good .Ricah is dating a basketball star, Emmett is expecting to children but my Shanae! She's still living with us , dressing like a MAN."My mother yelled.
"Well i am sorry to ruin your dreams of being like he huxtables. Fuck you."I yelled . My mother smacked me across the face and my father walked in with a cup of coffee in his hand.
"Whats going on here?"He said raising his eyebrows.
"I'm tired of her Bill. she won't wear a dress .. i'm tired of this phase!"My mother yelled tears rolling from her eyes.
"Its not a phase i am gay. I am a lesbian.. I like women..do i gotta explain any further? You know what i am out of here."I said walking upstairs to my room and packing my suitcase. My father walked jn behind me and stood in the doorway.
"Shanae...your mom is just not used to the new ways of the world.."My father said.
"You can't say you don't feel the same way when you look at me."I said putting my hoodie on and grabbing my suitcase.
"All i want you to be is happy. I don't care if you are blue, green, purple or brown. Just be happy."He said. I ignored him and walked down the steps and out the door. I drove a black lexus with tinted windows. I put my bags in the car and drove off. I didn't know where i was going but anywhere was better than there. I looked down at my phone and my sister texted me . I ignored her and drove to the local bar. I spent hours in there. The bar tv was showing the hip hop awards and i tuned in. Kaleef and Jania were on the stage. I took three shots . The anger and jealousy set inside. I knew what I had to do and it didn't involve talking. I was going to ruin her life.
