Mermaid's Cove

12

Youin

I'm at war with myself. Moira is doing something that imitates sleep, and I wrestle with myself. Two sides of me have split off, and they pull at this form, until it begins to turn into droplets of water. I stumble away from her, clenching my jaw.

I have a month. I have to keep her. Which means...I should purge him. The primordial Youin. I've been fragmented my whole existence. It's necessary. One form can't keep track of all my duties. But when I was trapped every instance of me was trapped with me.

I've gone mad. Truly mad.

I touch my face, feeling it slip in my hands, my eye twitching as my form loses its shape. I have no choice. I may regret it, but it's better than going back to the void for now. I need to use this month to secure her. So then...I pull him out, making his form from the thoughts, the feelings that belong to him.

He stands in front of me, my true form. He stands teen feet tall, hitting my ceiling, his skin deep blue, his long white hair touching the floor, his eyes...many, truly all seeing and knowing version of me.

And across his chest is a scar. A soul wound.

He glared down at me. "She's gone." He growls, a wave of power knocking me back. I swallow and stand, feeling drained.

"She's down the hall," I whisper. "Put yourself in the void. Become reborn, and purified and rejoin me. I cannot have you stirring trouble inside me, having such...vicious thoughts."

He smirked. "Don't you mean she can't have it? That's what it's all about. I am the pure form of you. This watered down existence is pitiful."

I frown and chuckle. "You are born of me. And you will obey me. Void yourself or I will do it for you."

He cocks his head. 2 of his eyes dart to her, four are on me. "This is all for a human. You have responsibilities. You do not owe her kindness. I am the strongest part of you. What are you without me?"

I narrow my eyes. "You are an imperfection borne of void magic. You are a past version of me, a version that does not exist anymore."

He looks down at himself. Water consumes him as he shrinks turning into a familiar shape. The water dissipates. He takes her form, but those eyes are mine. He stands in front of me.

"I am afraid of you. You scare me. I don't trust you."

I close my eyes. "Do not dare assume that form! You insolent—"

"That's what it's all about isn't it? What she thinks of you. She's a human. She's supposed to be afraid. You're supposed to scare her. She must trust that you know best, because you do. Who is the God? You? Or her?"

I heave a sigh. "This is your last chance. Return to the void—"

"If you want her, you should have her as gods do. Take her. She is yours. She has no right to resist. She has no right to refuse. She should be...honored." He hisses, circling me.

I purged him to escape these thoughts. But he is not heeding my commands. Which makes me wonder...which one of us is more me. Him? Me? Neither of us?

I've split myself for so long...perhaps I've lost sight of what my form is. Which one of us is me? Which one of us...is the true Youin?

"You can take from her. You need not ask. Plunder her until you are satisfied."

"No," I whisper, "that is not love."

He stops and cocks his head. "You are a god of water. You hold one purpose. Control the water. Keep the universe going. Balance. What would you know about love?"

I swallow roughly. I keep making missteps. I got captured. And before I even returned to full strength, I purged the purest form I have—my original form, who now has autonomy. Or was it him? Did he persuade me? Did he trick me?

Was I able to tricked? I am not...myself.

I look down at my hands. "You are to return to the void—"

"Speak with more conviction!"

And looking to at him, even as I stand, taller than a man, with this cruel smile on his face and my power feeling so meager...I can see why humans fear us.

"You are me. I am you. You come from me. I am the main body. I am Youin. And my power has not fully returned. So then, neither has yours."

He frowns but takes my human form, so that we're face to face. I've dealt with clones before. They're usually dispensable. The longer they exist, the more they become alive. They move from being just mirror images of me, to beings of their own.

Do I think those thoughts I wonder? I did at a time. In some ways I still do.

But I am not him.
I have changed.

"So?"

I swallow. "If you will not go to the void yourself I will have to banish you there. However, I cannot do that right now. And you cannot banish me either."

"So then...an accord," he smirked. "We will coexist here."

"Stay away from her. Don't cause trouble for me."

He just grins, and touches my hair gently. "I am you. Will that be possible?"

And I don't answer because I'm not a fan of lying. And neither does he.