hard feelings - an erling haaland story

sixteen

Her words rung like a bell in his head, echoing the phrase "you become the problem". Erling knew that for the majority of their youth, he had been her comfort, often cowering behind him when they had done something to anger both of their parents, Erling taking the blame. He knew he was the problem, she had been straightforward, true to her word. Sure, she played mind games in the beginning but nothing to the lengths that he had. He pushed and pulled her like a door, the Australian waking up everyday wondering which it would be, worried about putting a foot out of place that would in turn push the blond Manchester City striker away.

He stayed silent, knowing it was probably what she wanted. He knew he would get fined for missing training without valid reason but Amelia was simply too important for him to lose. Again. After a few minutes of neither parties speaking, the wind and the sound of the waves crashing being the only sound they both could hear, Amelia spoke again. "I tried to hate you but I just can't. I think we were cursed from the day I was born, all the teasing that the City squad did, saying we were Rose and Jack. I think that cursed us. I wish I could turn back time and grab younger me by the shoulders and shake her, tell her not to start crushing on you, just to see you as a friend, nothing more, nothing less. It would save current me so much stress."

He looked at her, as she took a sip of coffee, he followed her gaze to a man playing with his dog on the sandy front. Memories of them running filled his mind. She was on his back, as he run around in circles, threatening to drop her on the sand. Her laughter filled his ears. It was contagious, he couldn't help but laugh with her. His siblings following, running towards the two of them. She jumped off his back, lying down on the sand. Erling looked at her, not questioning anything, he lay down next to her, stretching his arm out, inviting her to lie on his chest. She lay there, looking up at the blue sky, counting the very few clouds that appeared, whilst he kept his gaze on her. A smile on his face as she spoke out words he wasn't listening to. He was mesmerised.

"How did you find me?"

Erling sighed, looking down at his hands, the view and the memory overwhelming him. He wanted nothing more than to just feel her weight a top of him, like he was reminded of. The cool sea breeze didn't cool him down, his cheeks flushed at the question. He felt like he had been stalking her. "Your mamma. She told me you were here. I went to your nonna's place and she told me you came and sat here a lot." He paused for a quick moment. "Don't worry, it was not Chloe. I tried to bribe her and shook her down but she would not share your location." He jokes, getting no reaction from the dark haired girl. She stared ahead like she was in a state of shock. Frozen like she had just made eye contact with a gorgon and now she had been turned into stone. Like all the words they spoke to each other previously hadn't happened.

He doubted whether he should speak, if she was even listening to him. She seemed lost in thought. Erling had never wanted a glimpse into someone's mind as desperately as he did with Amelia in that moment. Her eyes had been furrowed, he was unsure as to whether it was due to him or the bright sun in the sky. Her back straight, like she was ready to pounce or run when she needed to. He wished that she could've been the same relaxed person she had been prior to all the games he played.

"I do not think I could apologise enough, no words I say will ever be good enough, Amelia. They are just like me, not good enough for you. I am very frightened of whatever this is. I always have been. For many years, my life has been football. It has been training and working hard. I needed to impress so I could improve and make my way to the top. I was so busy I forgot about you, I forgot about the first fourteen years of my life. I will feel guilty about that for the rest of my life. Looking back at it, I think I felt for you more than a friend but I did not want to admit it. Freja, she was a distraction from you. I did not want to crush on my best friend. In some ways, I am still a frightened little boy who thinks the world of you."

Amelia took his hand in hers, her fingers giving him a squeeze. The contact didn't bring him any reassurance, she felt cold despite the hot weather. "I love you, Erling. Not in a romantic way but I also have feelings for you. I can't allow myself to let you hurt me anymore 'cos I think so highly of you. You will forever be my best friend, I will always be so proud of you but I can't do this right now. I'm not in the right mindset for it. I never want to lose you, E. We can be friends but please just go before I cry."

His heart panged, ears ringing as his head began to spin. He found himself looking at her in disbelief. He had flown out to her on the very rare few days he gets off and she just turns him away. She wasn't malicious but he thought that she would jump in his arms and everything would be alright. That they would give it another try. He couldn't find words to respond to her, not without crying anyways.

Suddenly he was fourteen, standing in the corridor outside his bedroom, staring at her retreating figure. He didn't see her cry but he could hear the sniffles and the fuss as she entered the living room whilst he sat on the stairs. Her parents comforting her, as well as his. He could hear his older brother reassuring her. The commotion intrigued his sister, who saw the blond boy sitting on the stairs, head in his hands. Slowly, she crept up the stairs, placing a hand on his furthest shoulder and pulling him into her side. They sat in silence, listening to the fuss in the room near them. Amelia's voice spoke, loud but it was obvious she was crying. "I want to go home. Please can we go?" She was pleading. Erling never heard the response from everyone and he never stayed around to find out. He simply went to bed that evening and left to go to training the next morning, heading straight to his girlfriend's house, where he remained until he was tired enough to go straight to bed.

She moved up from her seat, pulling him up so he was stood. She embraced him, burying her head into his chest. He tightened his grip, not wanting to let her go, anxious that if he did she would never return to his side. "I do not want to go." He mumbled into her hair. "I want to be with you."

A sigh of defeat came from her lips. "Then stay."