hard feelings - an erling haaland story

thirty-two

He felt anger rush through his body as he read the letters. He wasn't angry at her, but rather at everyone who knew but kept it from him. He had no clue the entire time, he wouldn't have been able to guess that his entire family knew and kept it from him. Everything made sense, the nagging from his mother when he first relocated, his brother's sudden protectiveness of her. He couldn't imagine what he would've been like if he had known, maybe he wouldn't have even played football professionally. He wondered how he had been so oblivious to the signs, the scar that lay on her chest that she wasn't able to explain, the scar that lay neatly at the bottom of her neck, something she explained as a side effect of a tonsillectomy. He should've known that was a lie, tonsils didn't exactly require a deep surgical cut to gain access to. Erling had already been convinced he would never be able to forgive himself. Now it was certain, how could he have left her to feel so alone when she was going through things unimaginable?

The next morning was a blur to him, the chatter from his family at breakfast felt far and distant. It was like the blond man was in a state of shock. Gabrielle glanced over at him, nudging her older brother as she noticed the expression on Erling's face. They whispered something amongst themselves, not wanting to alert their parents or Jan. She lightly kicked her younger brother, signalling to leave the table with a discreet head movement. Astor excused himself, walking off in the direction that their sister had signalled to.

"You know?" Astor questioned.

Erling nodded, staring at the ground, afraid that if he were to make eye contact with his older brother he would snap. A silence fell over them, Erling knew he needed to be the one to break it. "Did neither of you ever think of telling me she was ill?" His eye line flickered up to his brother, anger filling him instantly. "What if she died?"

"Don't talk to me like that, Erling." His brother scolded. "You gave up the right to know when you let her leave and act like you didn't care when she asked you if you wanted her to stay."

Gabrielle looked at her two brothers frowning at each other, Erling in a stance that resembled that of a threatened animal ready to attack. "Erling, I tried telling you. I told you she wasn't feeling too good and they were doing some tests. You told me to get out of your room before I could tell you everything."

"I deserved to know." He frowned. "I would have never forgiven any of you if it happened."

Astor rolled his eyes at his brother, groaning at his words. "It is on you for not listening when Gabs tried to tell you but you got it easy, Erling. Stop being so selfish."

Their sister had been silent, almost afraid to interrupt her brothers' argument. "She's our friend too, Erl. We grew up with her too, the only difference was you got to blissfully live your life without the fear that Danny would call us up and tell us she was gone. Astor is right, you are being selfish."

He huffed. "I feel horrible, she went through it alone."

Another scoff was earned from Astor. "No, Erling, she went through it without you, not alone. Gabbie and I were there, we stayed up all night when Danny rang us to say she'd been admitted to hospital. We stayed up looking at flights, figuring out if we'd make it on time to be by her side. Where were you? Out with your friends who didn't know her but had a lot to say about her."

Their voices had been raised at this point, their discreet sibling meeting had been interrupted by their parents and the topic of their conversation, her younger brother holding her hand tightly. Amelia frowned at the sight of him. His hands in his hair, face red from frustration. "I told them not to say anything to you. If you want to get angry and shout at someone, make sure it's me. Clearly, you didn't read the letter carefully." His demeanour changed at her stern words. It was clear she was angry, but she should've known that he would've reacted in that way. He was never one to be rational. She glared at him, feeling angry now. "This isn't about you, Erling. If you want to feel sorry for yourself for being absent then do it but don't blame Ast and Gabs for being there for me and doing as I asked. Gio wanted to see you today but we really should get going." She muttered a quick apology, for her behaviour, to his family before leaving the apartment, leaving him standing there with the disapproving gaze of his family.

Erling spent the day hidden away from his family, playing a video game whilst wallowing in self-pity. He couldn't understand why she had reacted like that. Could she not see the upset that her actions had caused him? He felt defeated, angry at everyone for keeping a secret from him. Surely it was something he deserved to know before committing to a relationship. He sat waiting for an apology from her. An apology that was never coming. Amelia didn't feel the need to apologise to him, she hadn't done anything worthy of an apology.

The lack of communication between them had slowly started to nag at him, he needed to hear from her, he wanted an opportunity to explain as to why he reacted the way he had but he wouldn't do that without an apology from her first. So there he sat waiting for her to reach out to him, twenty four hours had passed and he was yet to hear from her, although he knew that his siblings had gone out to see her, his nephew and Amelia's younger brother accompanying them. His father stood at his bedroom door, waiting to be noticed by his youngest son. He knew the stubbornness that radiated from him was reflected upon Amelia. Both parties somehow managed to prove their families wrong by showing new lengths to their stubbornness.

Despite not being sure whether his words were falling upon deaf ears, he began to talk to Erling, telling him that she was equally, if not more, as stubborn as him and that if he didn't reach out they would find themselves in the same situation they had been for all those years. Alfie questioned his son about his emotions, attempting to delve into his thoughts to find the rationale for his behaviour towards his older siblings and his girlfriend. Yet he held no anger towards his parents, who were equally as responsible.

Erling knew the circumstances were different, she wasn't just his friend he could ignore for a few weeks until he cooled down but rather his significant other, who most definitely didn't deserve the silent treatment from him, for protecting him and ensuring her malady didn't get in the way of him achieving his dreams. Even when at her weakest, she had put him first. She considered his thoughts and feelings over herself and somehow he sat there feeling as though he had been hard done by her for keeping it from him. When the result of the secret ensured he was achieving his dreams and playing for the football team he had always dreamed of playing for. Opposites attract and in their case, Erling was selfish and Amelia was selfless.