twenty-five

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"I am afraid that I'll love you forever but we will never be in the same room again." He spoke, his back leaning against the wall. He felt the words jam in his throat, fighting the tears that threatened to spill. "I am so sorry, Mia. I push you away because I am so terrified of my own feelings, I say things that hurt you because I am scared of accepting that I love you in more ways than I could've ever known but in turn, I hurt myself because you are the other half of me. Somewhere out there our souls are fighting to be together, so here I am doing that for them. I've never felt this way before so I thought it would be better if we stopped speaking but I'm miserable without you. I will stay here forever, waiting for when you are ready to speak to me. I'm not going anywhere, Mia. I've lost you once and I'm never letting that happen again." Without hesitation he sent the voice note. He was too frightened to see her in person. It was easier for him to process the idea of her ignoring his message rather than having her shut the door in his face.

Chloe had told him to reach out to her, simply make her aware that he wasn't going anywhere this time. He was never certain about anything, his career taught him that, one day you could be the fittest player on the pitch and before the end of the ninety minutes, you could suffer a career halting injury, but he was certain that he loved Amelia. He loved her like the summer sky loves the sun. She was listening to your favourite song after a long period of time personified. She was his past, his present and he hoped, no, begged, that she would be his future. To him being in her presence felt like picking up a book you once abandoned, only to realise that it was too good to give up on. A book that he found himself wrapped up in, not wanting to put it down, afraid to miss the best part. She was all the good things in life summarised into a small figure of a woman.

He stayed with his back pressed against the wall, the paint felt rough against his back. Yet he found himself comforted by the hard, cold structure. A wave of nausea hit him as the words that once read 'delivered' changed into bold letters making him aware she had opened the notification from him. He kept his gaze fixated on the phone screen, counting every minute that passed, waiting for a response from her, if there was to be any. After fifteen minutes, the bubble finally appeared making him aware that she was typing a message to him. He felt his heart skip a beat, his once normal beat had turned into a tachycardic beat. He felt breathless, like air couldn't enter his lungs. It took a further twenty minute for him to finally receive a response to his voice note.

"Forever yours, E.
-Your Mia xx"

The message was enough reassurance for him. She said so little yet so much with the single sentence. He knew what she had been getting to and he felt absolutely ecstatic as he re-read the message. He found himself tapping his foot against the cold hardwood floor as he wondered what an appropriate response would be. He wanted to see her as soon as he possibly could but he didn't want to push his luck.

Chloe scoffed as the song played again. She was tired of hearing the bridge to the same song that had been playing for weeks. "Turn it off, Millie. I'm gunna have to check myself into a mental health ward if I hear it one more time."

The Australian walked out of her room, eyes puffy from crying. "He looked so good today, Chlo. God, I wish Erling Haaland was real."

"Stand up, please, Amelia. I beg. That man literally said you were the worst person he's met. If I hear 'tonight the music seems so loud' one more time, I'll personally take his kneecaps out myself."

The brunette started sobbing at her words. She wasn't upset at the words, she had just found herself in a sensitive spot. Seeing Erling earlier that day had sent her on a crying spree, looking at old photos of them reminiscing. "He looked so good in his grey trackies and ugh his hair. I need to go back to his and use his shampoo again because it was shining!" The Australian exaggerated the word shining. "The woman next to him was stunnin' as well. Definitely too pretty for him."

"And you're here crying over him? You're embarrassing me." The two women sat in their living room, as she let the tears spill from her eyes. Amelia, herself, was unsure at this point as to why she was crying. She was just crying for the sake of crying. They sat comfortably watching the show in front of them. A sudden gasp from her flatmate took her by surprise, making her flinch. "Fuck off! Guess who's just fuckin' messaged me."

Amelia grabbed the phone that her friend had handed to her, her mouth falling open at the message that was on the screen. Erling. She re-read the message over and over again before handing it back to Chloe. "Ignore it."

"No, I'm tell him to grow some balls and apologise to you. I'm tired of hearing careless whisper and liability on repeat and I never thought I'd be saying that about any George Michael song."

Amelia found herself tossing and turning in bed that evening, her mind running through Erling's message to Chloe. Why would he message her instead of going to Amelia directly? Why would he say those words when he looked comfortable next to the stunning blonde next to him? She didn't blame him in the slightest, she was this stunning woman who looked like she had a regular sleeping pattern. A feat she would probably be jealous of. She found herself jealous of Erling more than anything.

A buzz snapped her out of her thoughts, a scream faling out of her mouth. It was a voice note from the man. She threw her phone across the room and hid under her covers, like she had watched a horror film. The commotion caused Chloe to run into her room, picking the phone up from the floor. "Chloe, I can't listen to it. You need to listen to it. Please." The Australian spoke. "What did you say to him?"

She watched as Chloe turned the volume down on her phone before pressing it against her ear. A situation they had found themselves in multiple times in the years they had known each other. It was something that they were used to doing. However, it was never for someone in the public eye, unlike Erling. Amelia watched Chloe's face closely, trying to read it as the voice message played.

"If you don't tell him you're in love with him this instant, I'm gunna have to steal him from you. That was the nicest thing I've heard come out of a man's mouth. Here, let me reply."

The Australian raised her eyebrow at her friend. "What are you goin' to say?"

"That you're forever his. Not really a lie, let's be real." Chloe retorted. "You flew to Germany for his debut at Dortmund. You've been in love with him since forever."

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