hard feelings - an erling haaland story

thirty-one

A sudden poke to his cheek woke him up, his eyes opening to see Amelia hovering over him, her eyes bright, to match her smile. "Wake up, amore mio. It's Christmas." It was obvious from her hair that she had been up for a long time, most likely setting up his living room for her younger brother. Something that she made abundantly clear she was very excited for. In turn, Erling had found himself excited, the magic of the holiday returning. Yet, the minute his eyes swung open, he felt anxious, the possibilities of everything going wrong bounced through his mind. It had been a long few years since they all last spent the occasion together, but this time, it was different. They were more mature, they had grown apart and gotten closer. What if the good memories would be tarnished? What if it wasn't as good as he had remembered?

"Good morning, Mia." He grumbled. "You look so good. You're goin' to embarrass me on the first Christmas year we host together."

A small smile formed on his face at his own words, he never would've imagined them hosting both of their families together, as a romantic couple, not just a couple of best friends. It was a surreal feeling when he remembered the leap they both took to get to the situation they were in. He feared for their future, the thought of losing her frightened him beyond belief, the idea that not only would he lose her romantically but also platonically was something he would never be able to prepare for. He had experienced both sides of her love and he couldn't imagine living a life without any aspect of her love anymore. Though he knew people would question him if he voiced his thoughts out loud, saying it hadn't been long enough for him to feel that way but he was certain of his own thoughts and feelings.

"I have a present for you to open." She clapped excitedly. "Just between us." She was now sat with her legs crossed on his bed, her arms behind her back, as though shielding something from him. She was beaming, clearly excited for what she was about to pass to him. He sat up, his back leaning against the headboard, eyes still heavy from his sleep. He wanted to match her energy but he felt as though his sleep had drained him of energy rather than feeling refreshed. "Close your eyes, E."

"If I do, I'll fall asleep." He mumbled. "Is it not wrapped?"

"Mhm. I forgot about that. Here!" She placed the gift in front of her, it was wrapped neatly in brown recycled paper, tied with red string, a signature she had adopted at twelve. No matter the occasion, whether it was Christmas, a birthday, or Mother's/father's Day. Although, it looked a lot neater since he last received a Christmas present from her.

She watched his reaction carefully as he unwrapped it. Erling had never been one to gently unwrap presents, he had always blamed it on being 'too heavy-handed' but he had just always been excited to see what lay underneath the wrapping. He grew up feeling undeserving of everything he had gotten, surely there had to be a limit on all the good things he received, or so he thought. He wasn't an ungrateful person, he just never understood why he got everything he did. This nagging feeling only grew worse in the first few months after the end of their friendship; until he was able to suppress every emotion, every feeling and every thought about Amelia. Until she ceased to exist in his mind.

As life's irony would have it, there he sat in front of her, as she excitedly watched him unwrap the present she had prepared for him, feeling the exact emotions he had felt all those years prior. It was overwhelming him, as he glanced down at the present on his lap. A little scrapbook that they, mainly Amelia, had started together when they were seven. He hadn't seen it in a while, assuming that it had gone missing throughout the multiple flights and different homes it had witnessed. Yet there it was in front of him, thicker and heavier than he last remembered.

"Everything you missed in my life is in there. There are a few letters for you to read, but you have to promise me you won't do it 'til we leave tonight." She smiled. "I filled your pages, of course, with the help of Gabs and Astor. I thought you deserved to keep it, I've had it all to myself for ten years. It's your turn to look after it."

Amelia had always been a sentimental person, she kept everything she wanted to remember, whether it was a leaf that had fallen atop his head on their first walk through Melbourne after her father's spell at Leicester City had ended, or the birthday card he had gotten her for her thirteenth birthday. He had envied that about her, everything had a meaning to her, even the littlest things. He felt as though everything in his life occurred too quickly like he wasn't able to relish every moment and everything.

A sudden barge through the door prevented the tears from flowing as her younger brother jumped on his bed. "Lia, Erling! It's Christmas. It's time to wake up. Santa's came." The young boy's eyes flickered to the opened wrapping paper by Erling. "Hey, that's naughty. You opened a present without us!"

Erling chuckled, scooping the younger boy up and throwing him over his shoulder. "That's your sister's fault. Come on, let's get to the living room so you can start opening your presents."

Giovanni spent the entire walk from Erling's room to the living room giggling and squealing begging to be put down. The rest of their families sat patiently, chatting away with each other, despite the early hour. His nephew fought his sleep on the corner of the sofa, clearly not aware of the occasion. It wasn't exactly the white Christmases they were used to but the dark winter morning made it impossible to see what Christmas in Manchester would have in store for them. Though it would most likely be rain, mixed with a bit of fog. For the first time in a while, he felt content with his personal life.

Seeing his family and hers together again, for something that once was an essential part of their year, felt surreal. He never even thought that it would be a possibility again. He never even thought about her. Not until his transfer. Yet he stood in front of their families, her younger brother on his shoulder, holding her hand, wearing pyjamas that matched hers, something he claimed was stupid but he secretly loved the idea of it. He loved seeing her happy, he loved making her happy.

Erling pulled her aside, finding somewhere quiet to give Amelia her final present, much like she had earlier. He was nervous, worried about her reaction. It was a big thing, an act of his impulsivity. "It's nothing big, Mia. Please do not panic." He handed her a bag, not even attempting to wrap it knowing it would only cause him additional stress. A box no bigger than ten centimetres in length lay underneath multiple layers of red and green tissue paper. A key lay inside the box, the sight of it making her furrow her eyebrows together into a frown. "This isn't me asking you to move in with you, this is me letting you know you're welcome at mine at any time."