Author's POV
"You know what I mean! WHO ALLOWED YOU TO FLIRT WITH HIM LIKE THAT? " he raised his voice in frustration. He looked mad, Joshua realized it was a bad idea after all. But He couldn't back up though, not yet!
Joshua's heart was pounding in his chest. He had never seen Jeonghan like this before and it made him nervous but he couldn't let it show.
"I don't need anyone's permission. I can do whatever I want. Besides he looked hot in that outfit, a total daddy material!"
"TRY SAYING THAT AGAIN!" "I said he looked hot-" before Joshua could finish his sentence, Jeonghan leaned in, closing the gap between his lips against Joshua's in a deep, passionate kiss. "You're mine, Joshuji. Mine to touch, Mine to protect"
He pushed Shua onto the bed, hovering over him. "You're not allowed to think about anyone else in that way" He pinned Joshua's hands, keeping him from escaping.
"Jeonghan what are doing?" His voice came muffled.
Joshua looked up at jeonghan with his teary eyes, the usual soft eyes that always held so much love for him seemed to be clouded by something.
Jealousy.
Quiet moans escaped his lips as he felt Jeonghan's cold hands slid under his shirt as his fingers traced his soft skin, feeling every inch of it.
Jeonghan placed his hands on his bare thighs, rubbing circles on his inner thigh while nibbling on his bottom lips. Joshua moaned as Jeonghan's lips moved down his neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses.
"Jeonghan," he said breathlessly, pulling away. "We can't do this here."
"I don't care," Jeonghan growled, pulling Joshua back in for another kiss. "I need you, shua." He bit his lips and held onto the younger's small waist.
"Jeonghan, please," he said, his voice trembling. "S-stop" he was feeling overwhelmed.
Jeonghan softened slightly at Joshua's voice, returning to reality. His face turned pale once he realised what he was doing.
Joshua's eyes were wide with shock, and he tried blinking back his tears. "Jeonghan...what was that?"
"I don't know," Jeonghan admitted, his voice rough with emotion. "I saw you with Mingyu, and I just...I don't know, I got jealous. And then I kissed you, and..."
He leaned back, maintaining a safe distance, "I'm re-really sorry shua" he said, in a panicked voice that was laced with guilt. "I shouldn't have acted like this."
Joshua didn't know how to react, he didn't know what to say. He looked at Jeonghan with an unreadable expression.
He lowered his head, not sure of what else to say. Joshua was still looking at him, confusion and hurt etched on his face.
He had acted recklessly, without thinking about the consequences. And now, as he looked down at Shua, he saw tears streaming down his face.
"Shua, I'm really sorry," Jeonghan tried to caress his cheeks but backed away when he flinched. "I shouldn't have done that. I had no right to take advantage of you like that."
Shua just looked up at him, his eyes full of hurt and confusion. "Why did you do it then?" he asked.
Jeonghan couldn't say anything. He felt guilty for forcing him upon Joshua, touching him in ways he didn’t want him to. He was scared of what he had done. He didn't know what to do.
He was terrified, of himself. How could he hurt the one he loved the most?
At that moment, He did what he thought was the best and that was to run away. He couldn't face Joshua. Not when he couldn't bear to see tears in Shua's eyes and not when he was the one who make him cry.
As he was walking away, he felt guilt wash over him. He couldn't believe he had forced himself on Joshua like that. He loved him, but that didn't give him the right to do anything without his consent.
Jeonghan's POV
I never meant for it to happen. It was all a blur, a moment of weakness that I couldn't control. I couldn't control myself when I saw Joshua flirting with Mingyu. It was like my whole world was ending right before my eyes. I wanted shua to be mine and mine alone, but seeing him flirt made me feel like he was slipping away from me.
In that moment, I didn't care about what was right or wrong. All I knew was that I wanted Joshua to be mine, and I would do anything to make that happen.
My heart was pounding in my chest as I looked at him. He was still crying and I could see the pain in his eyes. Tears were streaming down his face as he begged me to stop. He was crying and pushing me away, and yet, I couldn’t stop.
I felt guilty, ashamed and disgusted with myself. How could I have done such a thing? How could I have hurt someone that I loved so much? I felt guilty for forcing myself upon him. I knew that I needed to get out of the room before I did something else that I would regret. So, I ran away, leaving him alone in his room, crying over what had just happened.
I ran out of the room and didn't stop until I was outside. I leaned against the wall and let out a deep breath. Tears were streaming down my face because what I had done. He had every right to be upset with me.
This was the hardest thing to write! 😭
