Climb (Percy Jackson x Reader)

twenty-five

✺ APRICITY ✺

"It's where you what?" Percy exclaims, and (Y/N) hisses for him to be quiet. Percy scoffs, shaking his head as incredulity roils within him. "This is where that quest was?"

(Y/N) rolls her eyes, lowering her voice in the hopes that he'll do the same. "Yes, it is."

Percy's mouth falls agape, his eyes bulging. "What the fuck were you thinking?" he says, his words trembling as he fights to keep from shouting. "No wonder Chiron said you were going on a suicide mission! You seriously thought it was smart to come back to the place where you were killed all on your own?"

Her glare sends chills deeper into his bones than the surrounding air does. "Yes."

"This is absolutely ridiculous, (Y/N)! It's stupid, and reckless, and- and- and a terrible idea! You didn't even tell—"

"Oh, don't lecture me," (Y/N) snaps, her eyes blazing with enough force that Percy could swear heat ripples off of them. "You don't speak to me—hell, even look at me—for weeks, and suddenly you think you can give me every piece of your mind? You've only bothered to spare me any sort of attention when it benefits you. When you get to play the savior or- or be a voice of reason. You did the same thing to save your mother, and I stood by you. So what the fuck are you thinking, Percy?"

The son of Poseidon blinks. He wasn't expecting her to snap, but after so long of her indifference to his behavior, he appreciates the anger. Perhaps it was an indication that she still cared.

But it still strikes him somewhere where it stings, deep in his chest.

"You know, I have tried to be better. To keep opportunities open for you to know what's going on. But it is getting more and more difficult to do that when you don't even want to listen. If you don't want anything to do with me, that's fine. That's your choice. But you do not get to speak to me that way, especially after doing nothing to make me believe you actually want my trust. You don't deserve that kind of audacity. You got that?"

Percy's heart sinks. His stomach twists with guilt and regret and concern as (Y/N) looks at him with eyes full of rage. And hurt.

He had failed to recognize the message he'd been sending. Did she truly think that he wanted nothing to do with her?

He had been justifying his distance as a means to remind himself of his pain, to give him time to heal before succumbing to her power over him. But the truth was, he'd healed almost immediately.

He knew her reasonings. He was hurt, yes, but he couldn't fault her for long. Because she was trying, and he knew that.

She had reached out, and he had turned away.

That was his fault. And he had told himself that he was still unsure, that he needed time to warm back up to the friendship she continually extended.

But maybe, deep in his subconscious, he wanted her to hurt, too.

Maybe he wanted her to knock on his door and beg for forgiveness, to spare him the guilt of putting her through that pain. Maybe he had been doing everything he could to make her feel like she was in the wrong, as if to reinforce his ego and self-image.

Maybe he had been doing everything horrible and cruel and unkind to her, because he was too afraid to accept that he had already forgiven her. That he always would.

That he could never truly be angry at her. That he cared for her too much to ever hold the blame above her head for so long.

Percy swallows, and (Y/N)'s eyebrows twitch when he begins to blink quickly, warding away his emotions.