Imagines and more

What we left behind (part 2)

A comfortable silence surrounds both you and Natasha as you hold her close in the centre of your large, king sized bed. She was sprawled out on top of you, a not unusual but rare action, with her head tucked beneath your chin.

Her body was comfortingly heavy against your own; soft and warm and oh so familiar. You were both clinging to one another as though you would never get the opportunity to do so again, and just an hour ago, that ha even the case. She'd been dead. She was gone, and now she wasn't.

You could feel her skin against your own. You could feel her heart steadily beating and you could feel the wet tears that hit the skin of your neck as she cries almost silently against you. You could feel her hands clinging to your shirt. Trembling hands that were capable of many things clinging to you like she was terrified you'd disappear.

You wanted to to the same, because as much as you didn't want to admit it, you too were terrified that this this was just some crazy dream. That you'd wake up and she'd be gone, just like before.

But you knew rationally that this wasn't. She was here. She was back and you'd be damned if you'd ever let her go again.

"You've lost weight," she breaks the silence, the tip of her finger tracing over the slight indentation of your ribs poking through your skin. Her tone sounds sad, and you bite your bottom lip softly as you tighten your arm around her.

It was true. You had lost weight. But it wasn't because you had wanted to. You were just never hungry anymore. In fact, the thought of eating made you feel so damn nauseated that most days you didn't eat at all. You could see now that that wasn't what you should have done. You weren't thinking rationally. It was the grief. But what was done was done and you couldn't do anything to change it.

"I know." You murmur somewhat apologetically.

No more words were spoken, but the gentle kiss you receive against the skin of your neck manages to lessen some of the guilt you were feeling. With a quiet sigh, you nuzzle your nose against the top of Natasha's head, taking in that faint smell of vanilla that always seemed to linger on her no matter where she'd been or what she was doing.

It was something you'd always loved about her. Her smell. It was one of your main comforts, something that always seems to sooth you. It was why you had relied on her hoodie so much when she wasn't here. Her smell had lingered despite how long it had been since she'd worn it. In fact, if you looked right now, you were pretty sure you'd find it tucked beneath the pillow under your head.

Your eyes seemed to drift closed without your permission, your body taking comfort in her mere presence alone. You couldn't remember the last time you'd slept through the whole night, and you were more exhausted than you'd ever felt before.

Despite that, you force them back open not wanting to miss a single second with her. You'd sleep tonight, when she slept.

"I love you," you hear her murmur, and the words bring another set of tears to your eyes.

Just an hour ago, you'd never thought you'd hear those words again. Especially not from Natasha. Swallowing the new found tightness in your throat, you tighten your grasp around her body and press your lips against the top of her head.

"I love you more." You whisper, your lips quirking up at the corners when Natasha lifts her head and presses a kiss to your jawline.

"Not possible."

*

An hour later, you find yourself in the tub with Natasha sat in between your parted legs. The water was hot, filled to the brim with bubbles. Candles were lit, bathing the room in a soft glow. The room smelt like vanilla, and you breath in the smell as you lay your head back against the wall behind the bath tub.

Natasha's body was warm against your own, skin soft, gentle fingers trailing absentmindedly across the arm you had wrapped around her waist. The room was encased in a comfortable silence, but you knew it wouldn't last. You had questions, and you wanted answers, and you knew she was the only one you could get them from.

You feel Natasha sigh, watching as she turns in your arms so she was facing you. Her cheek ends up resting against your chest just beneath your chin, mimicking the position for from just moments prior.

Her hand ends up resting with innocent intentions over your left breast, thumb gently trailing over the flesh. Light goosebumps appear, and you smile slightly as she leans forward to gently kiss them away. You feel her warm breath hit you as she exhales a content sigh, her arms securing themselves around your midriff.

"How..?" You finally find yourself asking as you trail the tips of your fingers up and down her bare back.

You had held it back for as long as you could. But you needed to know. You needed to know how she was here. How she wasn't dead.

"I thought it was a soul for a soul." You add quietly when she remains silent, "I don't understand how.."

"They worked around it," she quietly interrupts you as she distractedly trails the pad of her thumb over your skin. You could feel her hand trembling, and you cover it with your own before giving it a soothing squeeze. "they ended up making another trade."

"A Trade?" You frown in confusion. "For what? Who was..."

"Nobody." She shakes her head, knowing just what you were thinking. "The stone was given back for a soul to return. I don't know how they did it, and I didn't ask. All I cared about was getting back to my family. Yelena. Clint. Getting back to you."

Your throat tightness at her words, and you swallow back the sobs that threaten to fall from your lips as you raise a hand to cup the back of her head. Your hands tangle through her coppery tresses, taking in the familiar texture you'd never thought you'd feel again.

"I missed you," you bring your hand down and tuck your fingers beneath her chin, gently easing her head up to face you. Her eyes were teary and slightly bloodshot, her bottom lip trembling, and you tenderly cup her cheek before leaning down to press your lips against her own. She gently reciprocates the tender kiss, her lips slightly chapped, but oh so warm and familiar. "and I'm so, so glad your back."

"I missed you, detka, more than you could ever have imagined."