Silent Cry ~Hyunlix&Minsung~

Condolences

TW
Mention of suicide, death, and self-harm

I know I'm a few days late, but I have been processing things. I was never a huge ASTRO stan, and I don't think I ever will be. I listened to their songs when they came on of course, I just wasn't a die-hard fan. Regardless, hearing the news of Moonbin's death destroyed me at that moment. It tore me down seeing his smiling face at the top of a news article followed by words of suicide and grief. It breaks my heart knowing that this world has lost yet another kind soul, especially one that has helped so many others. My love goes out to all of you AROHA's who are having a hard time with this right now; I can't imagine the pain I would feel if a member of Stray Kids, TxT, or Ateez were to meet their end anytime soon. Those groups quite literally saved my life, and I know Moonbin has saved countless people over the years. The thing is, though, that no amount of selfless deeds, money, or fame can truly save a person from suicide. It's a disease that eats away at one's insides until they are devoured whole. It's a nagging thought that just never goes away: one like a ticking time bomb that could be set off at any minute. We'll never know what was going through his head at the time Moonbin ended his life, but we do know that he tried. He pushed through for 25 years and gave it his all. He accomplished many things that the average person could only dream of and led others to believe that they too could reach their full potential someday. 

I know that some people are moaning and groaning that concerts are being postponed or comebacks are being put on hold, but I beg you to listen just for a moment and try to understand. Understand that he was a friend. He was a brother. He was an inspiration. He was a beacon of hope for people who had nothing else to live for. Not only does he deserve remembrance and a goodbye from the world, but his friends and family need time. These halts in the industry aren't entirely for him; they're for the idols that saw him as a brother (or quite literally had him as a brother) It's for the friends and acquaintances that will never see his bright smile again. It's for the AROHA's that lost their light at the end of the tunnel. So again, I ask you to stop and think. Think about what these people are going through, not the fact that you have to wait an extra week before a comeback.

I guess this all boils down to one point: Moonbin's death has affected the world as a whole, despite his connection to each individual. Even non-kpop stans have heard of this news and left condolences in his honor. This goes to show that despite our differences, everyone can come together in times of sadness. In some way or another, we've all experienced loss. We can all connect to the feelings of hopelessness and despair to some extent.

On a personal level, I have almost lost friends to suicide. I've even thought of it myself. I've had nowhere to go where I could truly feel safe. I've had days where I just stared down at my bloody skin and thought maybe I could just make that time the last time. Needless to say, I didn't carry through with that thought. I was able to snap out of it, but not everyone can. That doesn't determine a person's strength. It doesn't make the one who fell a loser in the game of life. It makes them human. It makes them susceptible to disease and death. Death, in a way, is a confirmation that one has lived. It is but a landmark that each and every one of us will pass one day on our way to wherever it is the universe takes us next.

I'll leave you with the thought that if you look up in the sky and really concentrate, you'll see one that shines brighter than the rest. He's smiling down on you as a reminder to never give up hope. He's always there, even when you can't see him. The sun may blind his glow during the day, but that doesn't mean he is truly gone. Moonbin will always be in the hearts of AROHA's and everyone else whose lives he touched. Rest in peace little star.