911/911 Lone Star One Shots

Bloody Knuckles

TW: minor suicide mention

Tommy could see it impending, a seething rage building under Judd's skin. She didn't know what happened before shift, but he'd come in frustrated already.

Then on a call, Judd failed to talk down a jumper. The woman jumped from the top of a building before the airbag was ready and died immediately. His failure added to his anger, though he pushed it down. He assured everyone he was fine. Just fine.

On the next call, a drunk driver hit a family's mini-van. The drunk man walked away without a scratch while the three children were in critical condition and both parents were DOA.

They returned from the call, everyone in a solemn silence. The group made their way to the common area except for Judd, who made a beeline for the punching bag.

Everyone gave him space, sensing his intense rage as he hit the bag over and over and over again. Nearly an hour later, Tommy exited her office and looked across the firehouse to see him still going at it. And she noticed he hadn't bothered to wrap his knuckles.

Eyebrows furrowing in concern, she turned and marched into Owen's office. "Captain Strand, Judd is still going at that punching bag."

Owen's eyes widened in surprise and concern. "It's been over an hour, hasn't it?"

"Yes and he didn't wrap his hands. I'm going to go make him take a break. I could really use some backup."

Owen stood immediately, nodding his head. "Let's go."

The pair made their way to Judd and he didn't seem to even realize they were there. He was completely zoned in on the bag, dripping in sweat from his exertion.

"Juddy, it's time for a break." Tommy spoke as she and Owen stood behind him. Again, Judd didn't realize or acknowledge their presence at all.

"Judd." Owen spoke louder than Tommy, hoping to get through to him. He placed a hand on his shoulder but Judd only shrugged it off and resumed his task.

Owen and Tommy exchanged looks before nodding in unspoken agreement. They flanked him, each taking a side, and restraining his arms.

"Let me go!" He yelled, fighting against them to no avail. "Leave me alone!"

Owen and Tommy held his struggling arms tight, refusing to let him continue.

"Juddy, stop. Stop fighting us. Just relax." Tommy spoke softly, concerned for her friend's mental state.

"Come on, take it easy." Owen coaxed him.

Judd lost his composure, practically collapsing in their arms with a sob. Tommy and Owen lowered him to his knees, sitting beside him on the floor as he tried with everything he had to push his emotions back down.

"Hey, it's okay." Tommy tried to comfort him, her hand on his shoulder.

"Like hell it's okay!" He cried, roughly wiping away the tears that were falling against his will. "What about today has been okay? I'm up all night with nightmares, the drunk guy walks away without a scratch, and I couldn't save that girl!"

Grace walked in with Charlie to visit the house and immediately heard her husband yelling. She quickly handed her daughter to one of the onlooking firefighters and rushed to her husband's side.

"Judd, look at me. Look at me." She kneeled in front of him, cupping his face in her hands and forcing him to look up from the ground. His teary eyes about broke her heart. "What happened, sweetheart?"

Whatever control Judd had over repressing his cries left his body the second he met Grace's eyes. He fell against her shoulder and began to sob.

"It's okay, baby. Let it out. You're okay." She comforted him, holding him close.

Owen stood up and made his way to the onlooking firefighters. "Give them space, come on." He guided them back to the common area, Mateo still carrying Charlie.

"Gracie, I failed. I-I couldn't talk her down and she jumped. She was still a kid, just some 20-something year old. And-and-and then the drunk guy can walk away fine while three babies who may not even live lost both parents. It ain't fair!" He cried against her, wishing she could make it right.

"I'm so sorry, love. I know it's not fair. Sometimes you can do everything right and it still doesn't work. It doesn't mean you failed, that's just how it goes sometimes." She rubbed his back soothingly, not paying any mind to the sweat soaking his shirt.

Tommy and Grace made eye contact and Tommy gestured towards Judd's bleeding hands. Grace hadn't noticed previously but pulled away and brought his hands up to look at them.

"Oh Judd, what did you do?" She sighed, looking at his inflamed, bleeding knuckles.

Judd took a shaky breath and shrugged. "I didn't think to wrap them first. I just- I was so mad I started hitting the bag as soon as we got back."

"I'll go get the kit and fix them up." Tommy told them both, leaving and quickly returning a moment later with the bag from the ambulance.

Grace held onto Judd as Tommy cleaned and bandaged his hands. The trio was quiet, none of them needing to fill the silence. When Tommy finished, she and Grace helped Judd off the ground.

"You didn't fail today. They were terrible calls, and it's okay to be upset about them." Tommy reminded her friend with a squeeze on the shoulder.

"Judd, go home." Owen told him, joining the group once again. "You need a break."

Judd went to protest but Grace cut him off. "Your captain's right, sweetheart. Come home with me and Charlie, come get some rest."

Judd sighed, relinquishing the fight. "Okay."

"Come on, we need to get Charlie and we can go. I'll drive, we can come back for your truck later." She told him, leading the group to the common area where Charlie was playing peek-a-boo with Paul, Mateo, and Marjan.

"Hey, there's your daddy." Marjan told the toddler, pointing to Judd when he came in. "Can you give your daddy the biggest, best hug ever?"

Charlie nodded and took off for Judd, who picked her up and held her tight in his arms. "I love you, baby girl." He whispered as she hugged his neck. The world might suck, but holding his baby in his arms made things feel a little bit better.

"Let's go home." Grace led them out of the firehouse, grateful she came by when she did.